“Hey,” I say.
She slowly waves.
“I just spent the last few hours reading our text messages.”
Her eyes widen. “Okay...”
I take a deep breath. “Look, I don’t know what I’m doing right now. I’m not sure why I can’t remember things. I know what people tell me, and it just doesn’t make sense because I can’t remember any of it.” I pull at my hair in frustration.
“Xander, are you okay?”
Tears well up in my eyes, and I gaze up at the ceiling. “No. I’m not. I just spent the last few hours getting a glimpse into us, and I don’t remember you. Except for my dreams...every single night, you haunt my dreams. But I can’t remember a goddamn thing about you...about us. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve it.”
“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you. You don’t need to feel guilty about anything. It’s my fault this happened, so I should be the one to apologize.”
“Your fault?”
She nods. “If I hadn’t surprised you and let you drive me to the airport, none of this would have happened.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes, it was.”
“No, it wasn’t. It’s no one’s fault. But if you want to blame someone, blame me. Go read the text messages. I told you to come surprise me.”
“I should have just taken a taxi.”
“Stop it. It was an accident. And I’m so sorry I hurt you. It’s tearing me up right now, and I hate myself for it.”
She looks away and then back at me. “Xander, you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s okay. Just let it go and don’t think about it anymore. It is what it is.”
“No, Charlotte. You don’t understand what I’m trying to tell you.”
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“Everyone around me can tell me how things were or what I should or shouldn’t feel, but I know myself. I know what I felt when I saw you today. I know what I felt when I read all those messages. I know myself, and I can’t ignore what’s in those messages.”
Charlotte takes a big breath. “What’s that?”
“A man who’s crazy about a woman he only met a few times.”
She blinks back tears and bites her lip. “But you don’t remember me?”
I shake my head. “Only in my dreams.”
“But you stilllove Billie?”
I rub my hands in my face. “Yes. No. I don’t know. I know what I remember. I hear what Noah, Chase, and Jamison tell me. I’m trying to wrap my head around it but without the memories, it makes it hard for me not to feel for her what I last remember.”
A pained expression crosses Charlotte’s face.
“I’m sorry. I don’t want to lie to you.”
“Okay.”
“Charlotte, I know I have feelings for you. I felt them today when I saw you. I didn’t understand though. Then I read our messages.”
She closes her eyes and turns away.
