He sighs, flipping a hand through hishair. “He’s super defensive right now, so I don’t want to spook him, but I want you to find his stash.”
My eyes go wide. “Stash?”
“He’s taking something. Just search the bus during our next show.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Panic ignites inside of me. “He will kill me. Not to mention, we’re not on the best of terms right now.”
“He won’t know. If you see something, snap a picture if you don’t know what it is. I’ll take care of it from there.”
“I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t serious. I never get a second alone, or I’d do it myself. Travis is spiraling, and I don’t want him going down that path again.”
I blow out a breath. I know Travis has struggled with addiction in the past. I don’t know the specifics, just that when he likes something, hereallylikes it. I’m worried about him, too, but so much has happened between us. This could be the last straw that destroys our friendship for good. I’d be breaking his trust. I know it’s for his own good. I’m not sure he’ll see it that way.
“Fine, I’ll do it, but only this once.”
“Thank you.” He scoots back from the table and heads for the door. Then he pauses and turns around. “Don’t give up on him, Ellie.”
I swallow thickly. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to.
My stomach is twistedinto knots. I know there’s no way Travis will catch me, as long as he’s on stage, he’ll be occupied. Calvin will be inside too, watching from the greenroom. This is the perfect opportunity, but I don’t want to. I feel bad.
If I find something, then what? I have to rat him out? I hadn’t thought that far ahead when Penn asked me. Travis may never forgive me if I do that.
Picking up my phone, I dial Liv’s number.
“Hey.”
“Hi, I’m about to do it.” I toss my laptop on the bed and pace in my hotel room.
“Are you sure you want to go through with it?” she asks. “You can say no, Penn will understand.”
“I know, but I’m worried about him, too.”
“What are you going to do if you find something?”
I chew on a nail, contemplating my answer. Truthfully, I don’t know. I’m tired of lying to my best friend. I’m telling so many lies to people, it’s getting hard to keep up. “I don’t know. I hope it doesn’t come to that.”
“Me too.”
“Ok, I guess I better go.”
“I love you. Call me if you need me.”
The clock on the wall tells me that TripleKill is playing now. The band should be safely tucked backstage, so I head to the bus.
“If I were a guy, where would I hide things?” I mumble to myself as I stare at Travis and Penn’s bunk area. I climb on the bed and search under the pillows and blanket, but nothing turns up. It smells like him up here and I breathe it in, missing our secret play sessions. I haven’t used my vibrator since. It’s not as fun without him.
Climbing down, I prop my hands on my hips, debating where to check next. My eyes slide to the small built-in drawer next to the beds. Travis’s is the top one, so I pull it open, feeling unease prick my insides as I fumble through his underwear and socks. My hand touches something hard, and I pull it out. It’s a box of condoms. My heart ticks up a notch, and I can’t help myself—I peek inside. It’s…full. I toss it back down, feeling even more guilty.
There’s nothing else in his drawer, so I move onto the small closet. It’s split into two sections—top and bottom—and it’s clear that the top is Travis’s by how messy it is. I flip through the hangers, but nothing is hiding in here either. There’s nowhere else he could stash something on this bus that no one would find.
I step back, wanting to feel relieved, but something is nagging at me. With one last attempt, I check his clothes again and pat his jacket pockets, but they’re empty. I grab a pair of jeans and straighten when I notice how heavy they are. Pulling them out, I see the clear outline of his wallet in the back pocket. My heart thrashes against my chest, and my hands shake as I slide it out.
This is a huge invasion of privacy. It’s like going through a woman’s purse without her permission. I swallow down guilt and regret and flip it open.
There’s cash, a condom, and...My hand flies to my mouth, a gasp spilling from my lips. Buried between the bills is a small keychain. Like the ones from the zoo, exactly like the one I got him, except they didn’t have my name. Yet, here it is. My name, in fancy script. He bought this and had my name engraved. When? Why?
