Needing more, I’m always fucking bored
Pick me apart, put me together
Still, I won't be any better
Without you, there’s only half me
My eyes flash to Ellie as I finish the song. She’s sitting in a chair in front of the stage, working on her laptop. Why’s she always here? How can she focus with all this noise when she has a nice, quiet room to work in? I stop singing and rip my guitar over my head. The music cuts off right behind me, and Tanner’s heavy sigh is heard in space. I unplug my cord from the amp and head backstage.
“What the hell? Where are you going?” Tanner barks. I ignore him and keep on. “We only have an hour here!”
“You guys played fine without me the other night,” I call back. It’s a dick thing to say, especially since Penn was the one to sing. I’m not mad at him. I’m not mad at any of them.They did what they had to do. It was partially my fault for putting them in that situation, but I’m irritable.
I’m almost to the bus when footsteps pound behind me. I swear to fuck, if it’s Tanner, I’m going to kick him in his abnormally large dick. A hand reaches out and tugs on my shoulder. I spin around, ready to swing, but come face-to-face with Penn. I relax.
“You wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” He arches a dark brow.
“Nope.”
He levels me with a look. “Do it anyway. I didn’t want to sing—Idon’twant to sing—you know that. No one’s replacing you, Trav. Loose Threads doesn’t exist without you.”
My throat grows tight, so I swallow a lump that’s trying to build. He stares hard at me, attempting to pound his message through my thick head, but it’s not sinking in.
“I know,” I spit. I don’t want to feel this way, but I can’t shake it.
“Come back inside. Let’s finish rehearsing.”
“I don’t want to.”
“I don’t fucking care. You don’t think I’d much rather be at home with Olivia right now? This is the life we signed up for. This is what we wanted, man.”
I sigh. He’s right, of course. “Fine.”
He shoves me toward the venue. “Let’s go.”
39
ELLIE
I’mdeep in the trenches of social media hell when there’s a tap on my hotel room door. Pulling it open, I’m surprised to see Penn standing on the other side, looking like absolute shit. Like he hasn’t slept in days, which I hear isn’t unusual for him.
“Hey.” I open the door wide, and he steps inside.
“Hey, can we talk?”
I wave him over to the small table I’ve been working at, closing my laptop and gesturing for him to take a seat. “Our girl ok?” I haven’t had time to catch up with Liv with everything that’s been going on.
“She’s fine.”
“Ok. How can I help you?”
“Travis.”
“Ah.”
“I don’t know how close you two are right now, and I don’t want to know. But I’m worried about him.”
Unease wraps around me. “Ok.”
