I park my SUV on the curb outside Pacey’s apartment, which is just a ten-minute drive from my place. She wanted to find something close to Penn, but not too far from her mom and the culinary school she was attending.
Before I can knock, she pulls the door open, wearing an apron covered in flour. “Hi!” she beams, ushering me inside.
“Hey.”
I have only been here once when we were all helping her move. It’s small, with mismatched furniture and colorful throw pillows that don’t match her typical dark attire. She’s like the girl version of her brother, only much prettier. Her hair is shiny black, making her blue eyes and pale skin pop beautifully. She’s always in band T-shirts and constantly has a flannel wrapped around her waist, unless of course her apron is on.
“Sorry about the mess,” she says apologetically.
I wave her off and take a seat on her couch. “Girl, if you saw my room right now…and I haven’t even been there!”
She laughs, sitting down beside me and glancing at her kitchen. It looks like an explosion of ingredients in there, but it smells heavenly. “I gave up on the macarons, but I’ve been studying a few donut recipes. Stay tuned.”
“I can’t wait. I know they’ll be delicious.”
Seriously, the girl has skill. She made treat bags for us to take when we left for the tour. They were filled with a variety of granola, cookies, and mini pies. It was fucking delicious. I binge-ate the entire bag in less than two days.
“Are you glad to be back?”
“God, yes. I wasn’t prepared for how exhausting traveling was going to be.” That’s coming from someone who was well-traveled as a child. My parents took me on lavish vacations every summer. We toured Europe and visited several beachesand national parks. But flying first class is a smidge different than bus riding with a bunch of boys.
“Yeah, I could see that being tiresome. How do you deal?”
“Honestly, lots of coffee and sugar. It helps that when we’re in a town longer than a day, I get a hotel room. The guys have it much harder.”
“Are they doing okay? I worry about them. I know my brother is exhausted. I can see it in his eyes, but maybe he just misses Olivia?”
“Oh, he does. But yeah, I don’t think any of them sleep enough.”
She chews on her lip, eyes shifting away like she’s building up the nerve. “That sucks. What about Tanner?”
I frown. “What about him?”
“I mean, with his girlfriend. Did anything happen after we left? I guess they made up.”
“Oh, I don’t know. He’s pretty tight-lipped, at least around me. He deserves better than that bitch, though.” Even thinking about Katie pisses me off. I wish I would’ve swung on her. I truly believe violence is never the answer...unless it is.
“Yeah…” It seems like she wants me to elaborate, but I have nothing. “So, what should we do? I’m sure you’re tired of going out.”
“Absolutely. But I’ll never tire of bingeingLove Islandand eating snacks.”
“Then you’re in luck. I just went to the store and stocked up.” Pacey rushes off to the kitchen, bringing back an armload of chips, gummy snacks, and Oreos. It looks like we’re children who robbed the snack aisle as we munch on goodies and Capri Sun. For someone who graduated culinary school, she has the palate of an eight-year-old. That suits me perfectly.
Two episodes in, I can’t stand it anymore. “I have a confession,” I blurt out.
She pauses the show and spins to face me. “Ok.”
“I think this goes without saying, but thiscannotleave these walls. Ever. If anyone asks, I will deny until I die.”
Her eyes get wider with my dramatic statement, but she nods rapidly. “Of course.”
I blow out a breath. “Ok, here goes—I let Travis watch me masturbate, then when I was done, I watched him jerk off while I played with myself some more until we came together.” I slap a hand over my mouth. As soon as the words are out, I cringe. It sounds so much worse now that I’ve said it aloud.
Pacey makes a face, but quickly wipes it away. She’s judging me. Dammit. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. When will I learn?
“Oh my God, I’m sorry,” I cry. “I shouldn’t have dropped that on you.”
“No, no. I’m glad you did. I’m just processing.”
