“Ugggh,” he groans, tossing his head back against the headboard with a thud. “I want that too. Can we have it?”
I shake my head. “No. No touching each other. Just ourselves.” Maybe what we’re doing is just as bad, but it’ll beeasier to face him tomorrow as long as we don’t cross that line. Fuck this line. We already dove headfirst over it.
He makes a disapproving sound, but keeps working himself up and down. I want to reach over and play with his balls. I know how much he likes that.
“Touch yourself. I want to see how wet you are from watching me.”
Not hesitating at all, I shimmy out of my shorts and thong, and swipe at the arousal between my thighs. I hold my fingers in front of him, just out of reach, and show him the shimmering proof of how turned-on I am.
He grunts, fist slapping against his stomach as he angrily jerks his cock. “I love the way you taste. I’d give anything for you to shove your fingers in my mouth. Please,” Travis begs, letting a whimper slip out.
Oh God.I love when he begs.
I want that too, but I shake my head in refusal. If I feel his tongue on any part of me, I might park my clit right on his lips.
My pussy is aching, core pulsing, forcing me to shove my fingers inside. I thrust hard, using three fingers to fuck myself. “Oh, God. I’m close already. Come with me,” I say, leaning back on my free hand, knees open wide, giving him a view.
His head flies off the headboard, eyes zeroing in on my hand buried between my legs.
“Fuck, Ellie, you have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen. Fill it up for me.”
I groan, driving into myself harder, desperately wishing it was any part of him in me. He watches me while I watch him, pumping simultaneously until we both shatter.
I moan, he curses, and neither of us stops until we’re fully spent.
I drop back to the bed, breathing ragged. The mattress dips a minute later as he walks to the bathroom. While he’s gone, I put my clothes back on, and guilt immediately settlesin my stomach. Using the blanket as a shield from my shame, I cover myself, and turn the lamp off just as Travis strolls back into the room. I can’t even look at him. I’m so weak. I’m so fucking fired if Tanner finds out about this.
Travis crawls back into the bed, and I stiffen. “What are you doing?”
“You ask a lot of questions these days,” he grumbles. “I’m going to sleep a little longer.” I don’t argue. I can hear how tired he is. I close my eyes and fall asleep almost instantly.
19
ELLIE
As soon asmy apartment door closes behind me, I run to my room and dive onto my bed. Damn, it’s good to be home. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Two days of traveling on the bus after masturbating with Travis was…hard. And not in the fun way.
I was ashamed that I broke so easily. Sure, we’ve flirted and I’ve thought about it, but I prided myself on being stronger than that, on being able to resist my urges. But when faced with the opportunity, I crumbled like a stale cookie.
I could barely make eye contact with him or Tanner. Somehow, I think he’d justknow.
Travis acted completely normal and unfazed, but I was on edge. I pretty much stayed on my bunk the entire drive. I can’t believe I jeopardized my job for that. I mean, if I’m going to risk it all, I’d prefer to have gotten more action.
Burying my face in my pillow, I let out a scream. Who in the fuck let me go on tour with these guys? I’m weak when it comes to good dick. Liv tried to warn me, she knew, but I didn’t listen. I thought it would be easy. I’d be so busy having ablast and working that I wouldn’t even think about sex—at least sex with Travis.
God, I’m an idiot.
I take a deep breath, centering myself. It’s going to be fine. I’ll take this week to recharge, and by the time we hit the road again, it’ll be a distant memory. Maybe I can call up one of my old hookups while I’m here. At the very least, break out my dildo.
I snatch my phone to call Liv, then think better of it. Penn probably just got there. She’s going to want some alone time with him. Ugh, her being in love is making me depressed. Not only do I miss living with her, but seeing her and Penn together, so cute and in love, has made my brain concoct silly ideas. Like wondering what that would be like—love and monogamy. And I’ve not desired those things in a long time—since my last “relationship” ended. That scarred me enough to not want a repeat. He was older, much older. Too old…and my teacher.
It was dumb, but I was young and thought it was love. He seemed nice, and every girl in school was obsessed with him. I thought I won a prize by having him sneak around with me. He played the role of innocent so well, telling me how much he cared about me, but that we couldn’t cross that line because it was wrong. Of course, it only made me want him more. He knew all the right things to say to get me to believe it was all my idea. I pushed, persuaded, and seduced. When in reality, he was grooming me and a handful of other girls, too.
Now that I’m older, I see it andhimfor what it really was. It makes me sick. I handed my virginity to him on a platter with the belief it was all my idea. And he couldn’t even be bothered to take me to his place or even a hotel. We fucked right there in his classroom, on his desk. I let him have his way and stayed quiet for months.
I’m afraid to wonder how long it would’ve gone on had we not been caught. After everything hit the fan, it came out thathe wasn’t only screwing me, but multiple students. All under eighteen.
My parents packed us up and moved to another town and another private school. It was like it never happened. Of course, they pressed charges. He was fired and served a year in jail. Yep. One year.
