“Hon—” he catches himself, “Lina. It’s beautiful.”
He pulls out the tactical knife and flips it open. The Damascus steel blade glints under the light, and the wooden handle, an elegant swirl of tan, brown, and royal blue, looks custom and expensive. It wasn’t, but I’m glad it looks like it was.
“I hope you like it,” I say softly.
I start to turn, ready to head back to my room, but his voice stops me.
“Lina, wait.”
Slowly, I turn back to face him.
“I… I have something for you too.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do,” he says. “Can you sit for a few minutes,please? There’s kind of a story that goes along with it.”
He nods to the desk chair near his bed, and I hesitate for a breath before walking over and sinking into the seat. I sit across from him, trying not to fidget. His hands rub up and down his thighs, nervous energy practically radiating off him.
I stay quiet, letting him gather his thoughts. He’s clearly working through something big, and it takes everything in me not to reach for him, but I don’t think he’d want that from me. Not anymore.
“My gift has two parts,” he says finally. “I’ve got an actual gift for you, yeah, but the first part is a story. My story,” he clarifies, noticing my confusion. “I need to tell you what happened in my past. So maybe… you’ll understand me a little better.”
Realization hits, and I shake my head gently. “Johnny, you don’t have to—”
“I know I don’t have to.” His voice is steady, but his eyes are pleading. “Iwantto. I know I’ve hurt you. I’ve been cold, hot, moody as hell. Telling you this won’t erase that, and it won’t magically make everything okay. But maybe it’ll help you understand why I’ve made some of the choices I’ve made. Why I keep pulling away when I don’t want to.”
I exhale. “Okay.”
Whatever he’s about to say, whether it’s good, bad, or gutting, I want to hear it. Maybe Ineedto.
“Where do I even start?” Johnny’s eyes drift to the ceiling like he’s searching for the words up there. “What do you know about my real dad?”
“Not much,” I admit. “Maryanne told me they didn’t have a great relationship and that he left when she was pregnant with Axel.”
“Yeah. He gave up his parental rights and disappeared. Hewas supposed to be gone for good, but that wasn’t the end of it.” He pauses, bracing himself. “When I was six, he came back and kidnapped me from school.”
The words hit like a wrecking ball.
“He hid out near the playground, waiting for my class to come outside. When we did, he lured me over. I didn’t know he was my dad. Hadn’t seen him since I was two and didn’t recognize him. He told me he was a friend of my mom’s. Said something happened to Axel, and she needed me to come with him.
“I was just a stupid kid, so I believed him. I willingly got in the car, and nobody at the school realized I was missing for over an hour.”
My heart hurts imagining a six-year-old Johnny.
“At first, it didn’t seem that bad. He let me pick the radio station. Stopped at a gas station and let me pick out my own snack and drink. Of course, I picked junky things my mom normally wouldn’t let me get. He kept me happy and compliant for a couple of hours, but after that, I knew something was wrong. I knew we shouldn’t have been in the car that long, and I got scared. I started crying, asking to go home. That’s when he snapped. Started screaming, threatening to hurt my mom if I didn’t shut up.”
He swallows hard.
“He brought me to a house and kept me there for five days chained up in a bedroom like a dog. I had no bathroom. Was left to piss and shit in the corner of the room. The entire five days, he only gave me a couple of water bottles and granola bars. I was starving and kept in my own filth, and because I wouldn’t stop crying, he started beating me, to the point he broke my arm and fractured a few ribs.”
I move from the chair to sit next to him on the bed and take his hand in mine, offering my silent support. He threads ourfingers together and squeezes lightly before continuing.
“The whole time I was with him, he was trying to extort my mom. He wanted her in exchange for me. He told her if she came to him willingly, he would let me go. Thankfully, she was smart enough to involve the police despite his threats not to, and he unsuspectingly led them back to me.”
“Where is he now?” I whisper. “Is he in jail?”
“He was. Not anymore. Got out a few years ago. But after Ben married my mom and adopted us, we changed our names. Ben had guys at work scrub our footprints. It’d be nearly impossible for him to find us now.”
