If the Dean weren’t standing right beside me, I would have punched the smile off his face, but instead, I gave a single nod before he escorted me back to my room.
The halls were empty since everyone was in class, and when I entered my dorm, I was surprised to find the room had changed. White padding covered my walls, and my bed was stripped down to a mattress on the floor with a clean stack of clothes lying on top. No desk to climb on to get to Ollie. The door closed behind me, causing me to flinch.
I turned at the waist as Oscar propped my suitcase against the wall. He untucked his shirt and began undoing his belt. My mouth went dry, but I still managed to speak. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“What doyouthink I’m doing?” The belt was gone, and he unclasped the button on his slacks. “I’m going to fuck your brains out.”
Shit. “No, Oscar. That’s over. I’m not that person anymore.”
Oscar’s face fell, but a disbelief in his eyes rose. “People don’t change, Mia. You know you want it. Stop teasing me.” He took a step forward, and I backed away.
“You need to leave,” I choked out through a constricted throat.
Instead of obeying, he took steps toward me until I was flush against the wall. “Let’s get one thing straight—I take want I want.”
This wasn’t anything like the Oscar I thought I knew. Perhaps I never noticed it because I willingly gave myself to him.
Stunning both Oscar and myself, I raised my hand and struck his cheek. He brought his hand to his face and cocked his head. There was a look of confusion flashing in his eyes, but his confusion quickly transformed into a fury. He grabbed my wrists and slammed them against the padded wall. “You’re lucky you have what I need, but if you so much as hit me or disobey me again, I’ll drag your ass straight to the dean’s office.”
My eyes went wide. My body went numb. “What do you want from me?” I knew.God, I knew. I just didn’t want to believe it.Powerless.
All over again, powerless.
Oscar’s taunting smile grew. “Today, I only want to touch you, darling.” My jeans were yanked down to my knees. My body went rigid. “Only a little touching.” He pressed his hand over my panties and slid his hand back and forth. “I have a problem, Mia,” he admitted. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t find my voice—again, silently trapped. “Once you give it to me, you can’t take it back. You belong to me now.”
His fingers stayed over my panties as he continued to rub. “See, not so bad, right?” My throat tightened more, and I clenched my eyes closed. Frozen, I couldn’t even move my head in any direction. All I could do was stand against the wall as my past and his threats choked me.
“No one is going to believe you, you know. I’ve read your file. I know how fucked up you are … using sex as a weapon to get what you want, spreading your legs for strangers, getting caught fucking your previous doctor.” He chuckled and tightened his grip around both wrists as a tear ran down my cheek. “You’ll just be a girl crying wolf.”
He released my wrist and pushed off the wall. “I’ll see you around, darling.”
The door slammed behind him as I slid down the padded wall until my bottom hit the floor. I dropped my head into my hands as I let every tear fall, each one for each mistake I’d ever made. It hadn’t crossed my mind I would ever get to the point enough to care again, and now that point was here, facing all my mistakes, all my wrongs. It all came back to haunt me.
His hands had been on me, and bile came in my throat first when my mouth watered.The bathroom. Pulling up my pants, I rushed down the empty hall to the community bathroom and collapsed in front of the toilet just in time to throw up.
I was different now, but still all the same. This situation was different, but still all the same. I was the same weak girl, and this world was just as cruel as before. If I told Ollie, he would do something to get himself kicked out. I couldn’t tell Ollie and risk anything happening to him. Oscar was right; because of my past, no one aside from Ollie would believe me, anyway. Eventually, Oscar would go away because he couldn’t do this forever—or maybe I was in denial.
If I hadn’t been through the abuse before, this would have taken a bigger toll on me. But because I’d been down this road, I had the tools to push it away and pretend it hadn’t happened. Instead of going to the mess hall for lunch, I took a shower instead, helping to erase the memory of Oscar’s hands on me.
I met with Dr. Conway that afternoon at our usual appointment time. Being back in the main building was strange. Everything seemed to have kept moving along without me. I was no one important. The world kept turning on its cruel axis.
Dr. Conway didn’t hide her agitation when I told her I’d skipped lunch, and ordered us take-out so she could babysit to make sure I ate. The full hour with her, eating fast food and talking about her stories from her college days, took a weight off my shoulders. For a full hour, I didn’t think about Oscar.
“So, how do you like the boys here?” she asked. “Anyone you’ve had your eye on?”
“W-w-whoa we’re not at that point yet,Doctor,” I teased.
She set her burger down and ran a napkin over her mouth. “So, there is someone.” She smiled. “What’s his name? Do I know him? Is it the same boy who kissed you before you punched the wall?”
I rolled my eyes. “The last thing I’m doing is telling you his name.”
“Oh, my God, you really like this guy …”
“Stop.”
Dr. Conway’s eyes grew wider. “Bloody hell, you’ve fallen in love with him.”
“You’ve been here way too long.” I laughed. “And no, you have to believe in love to fall.”
