“Rory, if he left without me?—”
“Jensen,” he cuts me off before I can finish the sentence I honestly didn’t want to say. “You don’t have to come. I meant what I told you earlier, you deserve to be happy. He shouldn’t have left. I won’t defend him more than I already have. You are not wrong in not wanting to come, but you will be welcomed in my home if you do.”
Tears well in my eyes and it takes everything in me to not let them fall. I want to be there for Beck, I really truly do. It’s not that I owe it to him to hear him out, but I want to know why he left. I want to know if he feels like what we have is worth fighting for.
I can fight on my own for a few days if I need to, but I won’t forever.
I force the lump in my throat down. “I’ll be there, just tell me?—”
“I already got you a flight. I’m not going to have you pay for that.”
A surprising pained laugh comes out as one tear makes its way down my cheek. “Of course you did—like father, like son.”
“I’ll send over all the information. And, Jensen?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
My chest is on fire. I want to thank him, considering he’s calling me and paying for my travel down to them. I want to tell him that I love his idiotic son, who never lets me do anything alone even though he’s the one so hell-bent on being alone. But instead, I say, “See you soon.”
I feel Dottie come up beside me as I hang up. She licks my face as she nudges into my lap. It’s then I decide I’ve held back my tears long enough. I cry out every emotion—all the anger and pain.
When my phone lights up again with my flight info, I know I have to swallow it all down. I don’t want to lose Beck after this, but god, he’s got to let me all the way in.
With a deep breath, I get up off the floor and freaking move. One foot in front of the other, one suitcase haphazardly thrown together, step into my jeans one foot at a time—all of it, just one thing at a time.
Dottie whines anxiously as I zip up the suitcase and I let out a small curse. “Sorry, girl, I don’t think you’re coming with me.”
Pulling out my phone, I call Dex, hoping he’d appreciate me not calling his pregnant wife at five in the morning.
He answers with a groan. “Hello?”
My mouth opens and boy do all those emotions threaten to come back up. “Dex…I’m sorry, it’s Beck’s?—”
Thankfully, I don’t have to finish my sentence. “Don’t say anymore, what do you need from me?” His voice is calm and alert now.
Taking a deep breath, I find my steady, one thing at a time mentality. “Can I bring Dottie to you? I’m about to head to the airport.”
“Done. Text me on your way up. I’ll meet you at the door.”
“Thank you, and please don’t wake Luce. I’m trying really hard to be strong and I think I’ll crumble if she hugs me.”
“I can hold her off for now, but I can’t make any promises after that.”
I almost find the slightest laugh. “Yeah, I’ll need her later, but not now. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
With that done, I lug my suitcase down the stairs and immediately fill a Ziploc bag of kibble for Dottie but that’s when I catch a glimpse of it…the freaking notepad on the counter. I need it to be blank and need to have something written on it at the same time.
Taking two steps closer, I can see the paper full of words in his handwriting. I can’t read it, not now. Ripping it off, I carefully fold it and shove it in my back pocket.
“Deep breaths, Jensen. You can do this.”
Putting Dottie’s leash on, I grab my things and I’m out the door. One foot in front of the other. One drive to Dex’s place and then the airport. By the time my butt hits my seat, I feel like I’ve gone completely robotic.
I pull out the note from Beck, but still can’t find the strength to read it. I can’t have it say that he regrets last night. I can’t know coming into this if last night meant something to him or not. His dad said he needed me, so that’s enough for now. The heartbreak can come after if that’s what’s meant to be.
Chapter 30
