I snort a laugh. It’s freaking freezing outside, but I guess she did say she’s actually hungry. “Did you look for the closest place to the shop before you got here?”
“Oh yeah!” Lucie tugs at my arm as she starts down the sidewalk. “I haven’t been able to hold down food in weeks, Jen. Weeks!”
“Poor Princess Peach.”
“Don’t poor princess me, I’m about to start what will borderline be an interrogation on your whole roommatesituation. You have until our butts hit the seats. No arguments or taking Beck talk off the table. It’s not happening.”
I find a laugh. “This may shock you, but I have no arguments. Talking about Beck was why I called you.”
Lucie hums, intrigued. “Shall I sit down now?”
“On the salt and slush sidewalk? No, I think you can hold out until we get to the restaurant.”
Lucie grumbles under her breath, but when the wind picks up, she leans into me. “Alright, fair.”
And whether it’s the conversation we’re looking forward to or getting out of the cold, we pick up our pace.
The moment Lucie’s butt hits her side of the booth, she shakes out a chill and rubs her hands together. “Okay, spill.”
“Can’t we order?—”
“Nope,” Lucie pops thepfor good measure. “Come on, Jen, you know there’s no point in stalling. That’s not very you.”
Itskat first, but of course, Lucie’s got a point. “Alright, so I like Beck. At the sake of sounding very immature, I like,likehim.”
Lucie blows a raspberry at me. “Try again, I already know that. Tell me about the reasons you’re hesitant to make it more than this silly roommates-with-benefits deal.”
“It wasn’t a ‘silly’ deal, Luce. There were, and frankly still are, deeper reasons with that. When we first made this agreement, neither of us wanted it to turn into a relationship. And the real kicker is Beck is the one who I think still wants to stand on that.”
“Wait.” Lucie’s eyebrows pull together. “Beck doesn’t want a relationship? With you?” I can see what little anger lives in Lucie stirring. “I might cuss again.”
“Relax, it’s not about me…I don’t feel completely comfortable disclosing his reasons, but in his defense, it is valid if he truly doesn’t want a relationship.”
Lucie shuffles in her seat. “Okay, my pregnancy brain is really trying to dig into what you’re saying. So, you think they are valid, but you’re not sure if he means it or not?”
I nod. “Correct, and add in a conversation with his dad about it, and you’ll be about just as confused as I am.”
Lucie’s lips fold together, and I see she’s holding back a laugh.
“Lucie!”
Her arms go up. “I’m sorry, but this is…I don’t know. I’m working with breadcrumbs here, and my two eyeballs that see how much you two care about each other. I’m sorry, I’m just not getting it.”
“Again, neither am I! Luce, I think I’m in love with this man and I’ve only lived with him for just over a month and been his friend with benefits for a whole week. That is insane! Why do I fall in love with the men I’m involved with? I was sure I was stronger this time.”
Lucie’s smile turns Joker-like, despite my dread.
“Well, then why are you smiling like the Joker? This is serious.”
“You’re right, it very much is. Jen, you love him. Think about your ex for a second, he constantly made you feel less-than right? You had to mold into his lifestyle and expectations. Does Beck do that? Has any part of moving in felt uncomfortable? You know, minus the extreme levels of sexual tension.”
I see the point she’s about to make, and dammit, I’m going to let her make it. “No to both.”
“You know Beck’s completely incomparable to your ex. I don’t even have to say it, you believe that deep in your gut, that’s freaking surface-level knowledge. Stop diminishing what you feel.”
“But what if what I feel isn’t valid?”
“Your feelings are always valid. They are valid to you because they are yours. What you and Beck agreed to was made with valid feelings. You telling him that you can’t continue with the only benefits aspect because of your feelings for him, is valid. No matter the time frame you developed them. And I hate it, but whatever his response is will also be valid.”
