Brennan merely raised his brow.“It’s time.Go home.Check on Samantha.I can promise you Ash is much more concerned about her than he is this cabin he’ll probably never see.Not to mention, with three of us already working, you’ll only be in the way.”
Feeling completely useless, he climbed back onto the horse.Brennan was right.Not just about him being in the way.Ash would most certainly be more concerned about Samantha’s well-being than he would that bloody cabin, and he’d completely failed there.Instead of being kind and compassionate, as she deserved, he’d been downright rude.
As he neared the house, he only became more disgusted by how he’d treated her.She’d been through hell and was fragile.He was supposed to be helping her to heal.
Moulton approached him as he walked through the entrance hall.“Apologies, sir.I failed to give you this telegram before you left.”
“You didn’t fail at anything, Moulton.I should have woken earlier.”
He already knew what the telegram said, so he took it, but simply dropped it on his desk on his way up to Samantha’s room.Hopefully she was there.
“Come,” she called, in response to his tapping.
When he entered, she pushed herself back into the chair ever so slightly.He cursed himself.With one careless action, he’d undone all their progress.Damnit!Why couldn’t he do anything right?
He closed the door softly.“It’s nowhere near sufficient, but I am so sorry, Samantha.”
She shook her head.“I’m the one who should be apologizing, Trent.It wasn’t my place to say any of that.”
Slowly, he walked to the other chair and sat.He wanted to explain, but he wasn’t entirely sure how or where to even start.
At the beginning, perhaps.He sighed.
“I stole from him.”
“Who?”
“Ash.I was angry after losing my mother, and I needed someone to blame, so I blamed him.He didn’t even know I existed.But I tracked down his estate, and there just happened to be a vacancy, so I rented it.I came here intent on hurting him.I even arranged a robbery of his club, during which he was shot.”
She gasped softly.
He simply nodded.It was shocking.It was despicable, and on some days, his guilt nearly consumed him.“But rather than punishing me for any of it, he rewarded me.He gave me money.”He huffed a laugh.“More money than I’d seen in my whole life.He allowed me to move into his family home, he pays for a nanny for my sister, and cooks, maids, footmen, a valet, a butler… all of whom treat me with as much esteem as they would the master of the estate.”He ground the heels of his hands roughly against his eyes.“I don’t deserve any of it.”
“And so you punish yourself,” she said quietly.
“How could this life possibly be punishment?”
ChapterSeven
Panic fluttered in Samantha’s stomach.How had those words slipped out?“I’m sorry.It isn’t my place to say such things.”She pulled her arms tighter against her body as she waited for him to shout at her.
He shook his head.“I’m so sorry for behaving harshly with you earlier, Samantha.Please don’t be afraid to speak freely to me.I will do my utmost to never treat you that way again.You deserve better than that.”
Why was he apologizing to her?Why did she deserve better?
“What do you mean I punish myself?”
Her heartbeat was rapid, but then she remembered the kindness he’d shown her.How gentle he’d been with her.He wouldn’t hurt her, even if she spoke truthfully.“I’ve only been here a short time, but already I have seen you set yourself an insurmountable number of tasks, and then blame yourself when you’re unable to complete them all.You’re only one man, Trent.”
“But they’re all tasks that need to be completed.After everything he’s done for me, the least I can do is take care of his estate.”
“And me.It’s why you took me on, even though I’m one more thing for you to take care of.You think you owe him, because he didn’t punish you.And so, when your body finally gave out last night, and those around you stepped in to help, you lashed out.We were getting in the way.Preventing you from punishing yourself in his stead.”
For a long time, he seemed stunned into silence.His eyes weren’t focused on anything, as his thoughts must have turned inward.Eventually, he nodded.“Although it’s hard for me to admit, I think you’re right about most of that.I probably am trying to punish myself, because no one else ever seems to.But that isn't why I agreed to have you come here.”
“Why else would you bring me here, if not out of obligation?You’d never even met me.”
He shrugged.“In truth, even that was probably born of selfishness.I wasn’t able to help my mother, so I hoped… hope, I’ll be able to help you.Although I feel undeserving of your trust after my outburst this morning.”
