‘You have a busy life,’ he said kindly, thinking of his sister’s punishing shifts working as a nurse, unable to afford to take early retirement. ‘Me not so much, but maybe we all ought to try a bit harder,’ he admitted. ‘But it is no good apportioning blame. Life gets busy. Days turn into weeks, and the good intentions to make contact are suddenly months behind you.’
It was a strange situation, thought Mark. There had been no falling out as such, but they had slipped from each other’s lives like a sun obscured by a cloud, waiting for the day the cloud would pass, and the sun would beam down once more and all would be well with the world. Of course, that kind of thing never happened in real life. Not without someone putting in the effort.
‘You always were the voice of reason,’ said Lynn, smiling at her big brother, who she had missed so much. Maybe he was right. Blaming one another never solved anything; moving forward was the key. She was pleased she had come here today.
She had no idea if Mark would visit their mother, but perhaps it was more important thattheywere back in contactwith each other. She hoped that regardless of the situation with their mother, this would not be the last she would see of him for a while.
‘I’m glad you came, Lynn, and you shouldn’t be shouldering the burden of looking after Mum all by yourself. I will go and see her,’ he said, curling his hand around his sister’s and squeezing it.
‘I won’t lie, though, I’m not sure there is much point.’ He sighed. ‘She never seemed to like having me around, but I will help if I can.’
‘She was troubled.’ Lynn tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘I don’t think she was aware of the impact her actions were having on you.’
‘Don’t make excuses for her.’ Mark tried to keep any sharpness out of his voice, as he did not want tensions between them already.
‘I’m not,’ said Lynn gently. ‘It was wrong how she treated you. I didn’t notice it too much growing up, but as we got older…’ She paused and sighed deeply. ‘I could see that she was always a bit harsher with you.’
The confirmation that it had not been in his imagination left him feeling empty and angry all at the same time. Why the hell should he go and see this woman who was a stranger to him now? His memories of the way she had treated him would never be erased. He owed her nothing.
He could not help but think of Alice then. He owed her nothing either, but knew that he would be happy to help her in a heartbeat.
‘Well, I thank my lucky stars I met Diane,’ he said eventually. ‘I was shown what true love really was then,’ he admitted.
He had been almost on edge when they first met, just waiting for something bad to happen. A snide comment, a criticism, anything that would attempt to reduce his self-worth. But itdidn’t. Instead, he was showered with love and affection. Even if he messed up in some way, Di would kiss him and laugh, telling him not to worry about it and reminding him that we all messed up occasionally.
He had barely known what to do with her warmth, and pushed back a little at first, but Di chipped away at his armour. Thank God. She showed him what true love really was.
‘I know. Oh, Mark.’ A tear rolled down Lynn’s check. ‘I always loved you, although, of course, a sister’s love is not the same as a mother’s.’
‘And I loved you too,’ said Mark.
‘She told me once that you reminded her so much of our father,’ said Lynn eventually. ‘It was wrong, but I just think she found it difficult.’
‘What, difficult to even look at me?’
‘I don’t know. God, was she really that bad?’ Lynn asked tentatively.
‘Most of the time, yes.’ A rush of emotion threatened to spill over and turn Mark into a quivering mess. He’d known that his father, who had died when Mark was a young boy, had beaten his mother regularly in drunken rages. He knew that he looked just like him, so maybe his presence brought those memories to the surface for her, although it was hardly his fault.
‘Do you know, I asked her once if she thought she treated you differently,’ Lynn continued.
‘And?’
‘She said something about mothers usually being closer to their daughters,’ said Lynn.
‘That sounds about right.’ He shook his head, unsurprised that she was not prepared to acknowledge her behaviour. ‘Maybe I will never know. Anyway, I don’t want it ruining today.’ He mustered up a smile. ‘It really is good to see you.’
‘And you,’ Lynn said, smiling in return. ‘But maybe for your own peace of mind you might want to tell her how she made you feel?’
‘I guess I could do, but what good would it do? Give her the chance for some sort of deathbed apology?’ Mark remained unconvinced. ‘But maybe I will think about it.’
Truthfully, Mark didn’t think he needed any kind of closure. He had resigned himself to the way things were a long time ago. But maybe he would do it for Lynn, if that was what she wanted. He couldn’t help wondering what Diane would say, if she were here.
‘Anyway, as it is almost lunchtime, do you fancy something to eat?’ offered Mark, smiling at his sister. ‘I think I have perfected the perfect Spanish omelette, even if I say so myself.’
‘Then how can I refuse,’ Lynn replied as she sank back into the deep sofa.
After grabbing a magazine from the shop and quickly delivering it to a grateful Alice, Mark headed into the kitchen with a bunch of emotions swirling around in his head. He had been so surprised, yet happy, to see his sister, even though the news of their mother had thrown him into turmoil.
