The truth was, I didn’t want her anywhere without me, not with Derek still a shadow in the dark, not with the snow coming down the way it was. But there was more to it than that. I wanted her here, safe and close enough to touch for so many reasons.
Lila came around to my side, watching as I worked. Her hand brushed my arm once, twice (not by accident),and when I looked down, her gaze was already waiting for mine.
“You made this kitchen perfect,” she said softly. “It feels like Grams again, but also like something new. Like…” She hesitated. “Like the bad stuff never happened.”
“Then I succeeded,” I said.
The words landed heavier than I expected. She turned toward me, close enough now that her hip bumped mine. Outside, the wind rattled a little against the windows, but in here, it was just the steady rhythm of her breath and the low hiss of the burner.
“East,” she whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you. For not giving up on me.”
Her voice had a break in it that hit right behind my ribs. This whole damn mess had made me really reflect on my reasons for running away from here after Levi had died. There was that healthy fear I had of abandonment. I knew that about myself, and I had to accept that unexpected things happened in life. I’d lost years with my family because I was afraid to stay. There was no way I’d let that happen with Lila. I’d hold onto her with both hands. Giving up wasn’t an option.
“I told you,” I said quietly. “You’re not getting rid of me.”
She laughed, soft and watery, and when I leaned in, she didn’t hesitate. Her lips met mine slowly and confidently, tasting like something I hadn’t realized I’d been starving for.
When I pulled back, her forehead stayed against mine. “You know you feel like the first calm I’ve had in years,” I said, my voice rough.
“I like that,” she admitted.
“So tell me all about what’s coming up for book club while I make our dinner,” I prompted while I started on the spaghetti sauce. It wasn’t going to be fancy, but it was one of the solid things that I could whip together that wasn’t complicated, and it always came out good. I gave the onions, garlic, and celery a little stir.
She hummed a little, something I noticed she did when she was thinking. “Well, I’ve got a different sort of book this month. Janice was after me for something like Ruby Dixon’sIce Planet Barbariansseries, but I don’t think the club is ready for those discussions.” She huffed a little laugh.
“What are they about?” Tilting some spices into the pan, I watched her as she explained the books and all about breed kink. “Wow, sounds like they would be racy for book club. I can only imagine the costumes.”
Without skipping a beat, she rattled on about the ideas she had for costumes for those titles, not noticing how I adjusted myself a little just thinking about the idea. Trying for a distraction, I opted for a safer topic. “So, what book did you pick if not the alien one? Not that I don’t want to hear about the spicy book.” I gave her a sly smirk.
“It’s a little safer, but really good. I think people will be into it. It’s all about female code breakers in World War II. There’s a bit of a mystery to it. These three women become friends, but they’re all from totally different lives.It’s a cool story.” She gave me a little grin. “I’ll confess that one of the reasons that I picked it was that I really wanted an excuse to make a ton of scone flavors, and I loved the idea of all the little clues that I could do.”
God, I loved the way her brain worked. Her nose scrunched up when she was thinking, and she talked with her hands. She was adorable.
“Sounds like a good book. Are you going to order me a copy?” I let the ground beef sizzle and randomly moved it around while I chatted over my shoulder.
Before Lila, I hadn’t read a book since high school. I readJurassic Parkmainly to join the book club, participate in the discussion, and hang out with Maggie. Now? Well, I was a little hooked. Not just on Lila, but I genuinely enjoyed meeting up with the people from town and talking about something. I didn’t really care what the book was. More than that, I enjoyed everyone’s enthusiasm.
“I have a copy for you. You can also get it on audio from the library if you want to listen to it in your truck while you’re going back and forth to jobs or helping out at Kipp’s place.”
Oh, I liked that idea. Sometimes I didn’t always have time to sit down, so a little flexibility in my reading options would be great. “That’d be awesome.”
After about thirty minutes, I dished up our pasta and garlic bread, and we hunched over our plates while she told me all about the matchstick challenge she had planned and the hints she’d been leaving around the store on the postcards.
“So, everyone just lets you pick the title every month?” I twirled up another bite and shoved it in my mouth.
She nodded. “I do a questionnaire every once in a while, but everyone is pretty content to let me do my thing. People can skip a month if they don’t like a choice. Initially, I’d occasionally receive a few complaints, but I made it clear that I’d be willing to suggest optional titles. The whole book club is just supposed to be for fun anyway.”
“Well, I think you’ve succeeded. I didn’t expect to like it so much. Coming from someone who doesn’t really read.” She clasped a hand over her heart like she’d been stabbed. Laughing at her, I added, “Honestly, it surprises me how much I look forward to book club night.”
“Just for the experience of the meeting?” she fluttered her eyelashes.
“Mmmm, maybe.” I set my fork down. “You finished, sugar? How about I build a fire in that woodstove?”
“That sounds good.”
