“I’m sorry,” Tanner whimpers against my chest.
I close my eyes as I fight back my own tears.
Son of a bitch, who would have thought that an eight-year-old boy would be the one to cut me to my knees?
“Look at me.”
When he refuses, I cup his face and tilt it until he has no choice but to do so.
“You have nothing, and I mean nothing, to be sorry for, Tanner. You have some really big feelings right now, and it’s a scary time. I’d rather you take your fear out on me than your mom or sister, okay?”
He opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. “I need to say something, and I need you to really listen to me, okay?”
He nods, so I push on.
“I know we haven’t known each other long, but I like to think that in this time you’ve figured out what kind of man I am. I hope you know that I’m nothing like the man who helped make you. You know I would never hurt you, right? That I would never hit you or your mom or sister.”
His lower lip wobbles, but I push forward.
“What that man did to you guys isn’t right. He wasn’t a good husband, and he wasn’t a good father. In fact, I wouldn’t even call him a father. A father loves and protects his kids. He would do anything to make sure nothing bad happens to them. Evan would never do that, right?”
“No,” Tanner whispers.
“Exactly. But you know what, Tanner? I love you and your sister the way a father should. I will protect you even until my dying breath. I will never let that man hurt you. Do you understand?” I say vehemently, meaning every single word.
“Y-you love us?” he stutters.
“Of course I do. You two are hard not to love. That’s why I don’t want you guys going on the run. If you aren’t here, then Iwon’t get to see you. I’ll be worried about the three of you all the time.”
“Really?” he asks, his eyes begging it to be true.
“Really.”
“Tanner, we can’t run again. Think about how hard it was last time,” Jane says softly.
“You don’t really want to leave, right?” I ask.
Tanner shakes his head. “I didn’t like constantly moving. I like our house and my school. I have friends here too.”
Relief fills me when he confirms that he wants to stay.
“Okay, then you stay,” I tell him.
“But what about D—Evan?” he asks, tripping over his dad’s name.
I know it shouldn’t, but it fucking pleases me that it clicked in his head that Evan isn’t his dad. Not in the way dads should be.
“My brothers and I are going to take care of Evan. By the time we are done with him, you’ll be safe and you won’t have to worry about leaving again.”
“How long will that take?” he asks.
I don’t lie to him. He had to grow up way too quickly, and his questions are valid. He deserves to know the truth.
I shake my head. “I don’t know. It could be tomorrow, or it could be later this month. Time will tell. We have to be smart about this, Tanner. As much as I would love to go in guns blazing, I need to be careful. I can’t let any of this blow back on any of us. Does that make sense?”
Tanner nods. “Yeah, he likes taking his anger out on everyone else.”
“Exactly, and we don’t want that. So, for the time being, the four of us are going to move in here for a while, just until it’s over with. Then we can go back to our houses,” I tell him.
