I offer her a weak smile. “Sure.”
Emily runs over to Kelly and takes her hand. As we watch them walk away, the tension builds.
“Why are we staying here? Why can’t we go back to our house?” Tanner asks as soon as the door shuts. “Is it because of those men? I thought they were gone. That’s what Smoke told me.”
“Yes, because some bad men broke into your house. One of them got away, and until we find him, it’s not safe for you to go back,” Mac tells him.
Tanner’s eyes find mine. “It was him, wasn’t it?”
My little boy, who had to grow up way too quickly. My heart breaks as I see the fear on his face. He knows as well as I do what damage Evan can cause. I hate that this is even something thathe has to worry about. I wish things could be different. I wish I could have protected him better.
“Yes,” I confess quietly.
Tanner’s jaw clenches. “Are we in danger?”
“Yes,” I tell him again.
“Then why are we still here? We need to grab our things and go!” Tanner yells.
“We can’t, baby. We need to stay here. It’s safer,” I tell him, hating that his reaction was the same one I had.
“No, it’s not. It’s just like last time. You didn’t want to leave then, and you don’t want to now, but we need to, Mom! We need to go to the nearest truck stop and say that sentence again. The one that got them to give us rides,” he pleads. “It will be safe on the road. If we don’t stop, he can’t hurt us.”
My hand flies to my mouth as I choke back a sob.
This is all my fault.
If I had made better choices in the past, none of this would be happening.
Mac walks toward Tanner and tries to put his hand on his shoulder, only for Tanner to flinch away. The hurt shows as clear as day on Mac’s face, but he quickly pushes it aside.
“Tanner, I understand why you think you should run, but believe me when I tell you, you are safer here than anywhere else. I won’t let anything happen to the three of you. Do you hear me?” Mac tells him.
“No, I don’t trust you!” my son spews. “I don’t even know you. You aren’t even my dad.”
“Tanner!” I gasp, completely caught off guard.
Out of all the things he could have said, I would have never imagined those words coming from his mouth.
His words slice me like a knife, but I refuse to let it show.
I know he doesn’t mean it.
I know it.
If he didn’t trust me, he wouldn’t let me spend so much time with his mom and sister. He wouldn’t tell me about his day or hang out around me. He wouldn’t spend all his free time working on cars at the shop with me. If he didn’t trust me, he wouldn’t always be watching me, taking notes on how I treat those around me.
Still, his words fucking sting.
Dropping to my knees, I pull him into my arms. I refuse to let go as he tries to push me away and only hold on tighter.
“Let me go!” he cries.
“Never,” I whisper against the shell of his ear.
“I’ll be right outside if you need me,” I hear Smoke tell Jane.
As his heavy footsteps disappear, the less of a fight Tanner puts up in my arms. Moving from my knees, I fall onto my ass, taking him with me. I pull him into my arms and hold on to him until he goes limp in my arms. At some point, Jane comes over to us and begins to play with our hair, trying to soothe us both at the same time.
