‘She was sober,’ I say. ‘I think. But I don’t know. Charlie, I’m scared.’
He tightens his arm around me. ‘I know,’ he whispers into my hair. ‘Why didn’t you say anything, instead of dragging all this around with you the whole time?’
I shrug in silence.
‘Or were you able to talk to Val about it?’
The brief laugh that escapes me is a bitter one. ‘Yeah, course.’
‘So that’s a no, then?’
I wriggle away from him so I can look at him. ‘Charlie, I couldn’t talk to Valentine about a thing. Not a single thing, you know? Maybe what it’s like growing up in a wealthy family, but that’s it.’
The pain in his eyes takes my breath away. ‘So why did you go along with it for so long?’
‘I dunno, because I was weak, no idea. I didn’t want to believe it. Right from the start, everyone around me knew better. It made me angry, so I started kidding myself. Because I was so bloody stubborn and didn’t want to admit that you were right.’
‘It made me angry too.’ His voice trembles. ‘I felt totally powerless. Whatever I said, I knew it wouldn’t change anything. It did the opposite. It made everything worse. And I want you to know that I didn’t want to interfere in your life. It was just so hard to deal with seeing you unhappy.’
‘I know, Charlie.’
He looks at me and I forget what I was about to say.
‘I love it when you say that.’
‘What?’
‘My name.’
‘Or should I go back to calling you Sinclair?’
‘No,’ he protests.
Phew. It’s almost uncanny how weird that already feels, even though he’s been Sinclair to me for years. But now he’s Charlie. And I hope he’ll stay Charlie for ever.
‘And I’m sorry, by the way,’ I mumble.
‘What for?’
‘For calling your name when you and Val were fighting. I don’t think it would have been so bad for you if I hadn’t distracted you.’
‘Maybe not,’ he says at once. ‘But I reckon it was worth it.’
My stomach flutters. I raise my hand and lay my fingers on his left cheek. There’s not much of the black eye left, but if you knew it was there, you can see that the skin around his eye is still slightly dark.
‘I really am sorry,’ I repeat.
‘And so am I.’ He sighs. ‘And I get that you were angry. I was out of line, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted Val to get what was coming to him.’
‘From you?’
Charlie raises his eyebrows at my sarcastic tone. ‘Cos I wanted to mix it with the rugby captain? Is that really so unrealistic?’
‘I’d better not answer that.’
Charlie laughs softly and hugs me closer again. ‘Yeah, it was pretty unrealistic, I’ll give you that.’
‘You’re always so insightful. It really could have gone to shite.’
