‘And I was scared that I was the only one to feel that way,’ I add.
‘I was scared too,’ he admits. ‘Tori, you’re my best friend. That matters more than anything. I couldn’t live with it if I lost you.’
I dig my fingers harder into his arms. ‘You won’t.’
‘But maybe I will.’
‘Why do you think that?’ I ask, although I know only too well.
‘Because I’m not Val.’
OK, apparently, I’m wrong. I let out my breath.
‘I don’t care about Val.’
Charles hesitates.
‘OK, that’s not true, but . . . he never came anywhere close to being what you are to me.’ My heart is pounding, Charlie’s looking at me. ‘Because you’re everything. You’re my home. You’re the person I could always tell everything.’
‘Yes, but then you stopped,’ he says. His voice cracks and I can hear the pain that we share.
I blink, as the tears come after all. ‘I know. And I’m sorry.’
‘Why, Tori?’ His fingers are on my chin. When I look up, his eyes are glinting. ‘Why did we stop? We were perfect.’
‘Because we were scared,’ I whisper. ‘Or I was scared, anyway. So scared, the whole time.’
When Charlie gulps, then nods, I know he felt the same. ‘I was scared too. And I didn’t want all this. All the stuff I said to you. Fuck, I’m so sorry, Tori. I’m ashamed of what I did. But I was raging. About the way you let Val treat you. He kept pulling you further away from us all, and I couldn’t do a thing about it. And then I treated you just as shit as he did. No, worse. Kissing Eleanor like that, I shouldn’t have done it.’
I swallow, and although they are words I’ve longed to hear, I force myself to shake my head. ‘It was your role.’
‘No, it wasn’t. It was unnecessary. It was Charles, wanting to hurt Tori. Because I’m a fucking arsehole.’
‘I hurt you too,’ I whisper. ‘So I guess I deserved it.’
‘No, you didn’t.’ His thumbs stroke over my cheeks. ‘You didn’t deserve any of it. You deserve someone who treats you with respect.’
My throat is tight. ‘I think I know someone.’
His eyes wander over my face. From my eyes to my nose to my mouth. My knees go weak. ‘I think I do too.’
My stomach tingles as he puts his index finger under my chin and raises it gently up to him again. This time it’s not him kissing me, it’suskissing each other. Slowly, carefully. I’ve never felt so safe. Safe enough to press my tongue gently against his lips and to keep going as he opens his mouth for me. When it hits his, waves of heat flood through my body.
I’ve touched my best friend thousands of times, but never like this. And I’ve never felt as beautiful as I do in his arms. And that’s absurd, because I look awful, I know that, even after I showered earlier. There’s no denying that I’ve spent the last seven days sick in bed.
And Charlie knows that. I feel his warm body directly on mine, but he stops when he notices I’m getting out of breath. He strokes his thumb over my bottom lip and my heart skips a beat. He looks at me and smiles.
‘You’re so gorgeous,’ he whispers. ‘And you have to get to bed and rest.’
‘But I want to be with you.’
‘Tori . . .’
‘Please.’
He sighs gently. ‘I’m nearly done here. Give me five minutes and we’ll go back together, OK?’
I nod. He studies me for a moment with the same disbelief in his eyes that I feel. How can it suddenly be this easy? Where’s the catch?
