Not care?
Tori stares at me and then she nods. ‘I see.’
That’s the moment I explode. ‘Are you seriously asking me that?’ She flinches, but I can’t stop. ‘Are you seriously asking meif I care about you, after I’ve just been through the worst week of my life because nobody would tell me how you were?’
The silence after my outburst is unbearably loud. My heart is pounding in my throat and Tori’s staring at me with her huge brown eyes.
‘Shit, sorry.’ I run both hands over my face, and then I swear again because I’d forgotten how floury they are.
‘Charlie,’ she says quietly, but I shake my head.
‘OK. Surprise: I care about you. I care more than anything, got that? I think about you all the time. Every day, half the night. Not just when you’re ill and I’m freaking out with worry. The whole time. And I wouldn’t change that even if I could. Because I’m in love with you, for God’s sake. So, if you’d be so kind as to go back to school and get yourself back to bed—’
I don’t get any further.
‘What?’ Tori looks at me like she’s seen a ghost. ‘What did you just say?’
‘You heard me.’
‘Charlie, what did you just say?’
‘That I’m in love with you, for God’s sake.’
‘Is that why you kissed me?’ she asks quietly. ‘Or was that Romeo kissing . . .’
I laugh out loud. ‘Seriously? Of course that wasn’t Romeo. That was Charlie, who always gets everything wrong, in case you hadn’t noticed.’
‘Meaning you regret it?’
I shake my head.
‘Would you do it again?’ she asks.
I want to look away, but I owe it to her to look her in the eye. My voice is rough. ‘Only if you asked me to.’
There’s a dark flash in her eyes. Tori’s lips are pale, but she’s still the most beautiful woman in the world.
‘“Your mouth has cleansed my lips from sin,”’ she whispers. I get goosebumps and shut my eyes, just for a second. ‘“Then give it back to me.”’
And I take a step towards her.
21
TORI
The caution with which he takes my face in his hands is overwhelming. And so are the softness of his lips and the heat of his breath, which caresses my mouth for a fraction of a second before he kisses me. Firmly, yet gently.
At last.
If I’m allowed only one kiss in my whole life, let it be this one. My eyelids shut of their own accord; my hands seek him out and find his firm shoulders. I have to tip my head back because he’s so tall. And I forget to breathe. I only realize that when I start feeling a wee bit dizzy.
Charlie pulls away ever so slightly, but his face is still so close that I can’t quite get him into focus, and then he abruptly flings both arms around me.
I can’t remember the last time he hugged me like this. But it must have been ages ago. And I’ve missed it. I press my face into his jumper and want to cry, but I don’t.
‘I’m in love with you too,’ I whisper instead, feeling the way he tenses. ‘I’ve been in love with you as long as I can remember, Charlie.’
He smells of security, flour and tea. And his eyes are so endlessly blue when he looks back at me. I recognize the question in them.
