“Did you want to hook up with that douchebag at the club?”
He shrugs, not opening his eyes. “I might’ve on a different night.”
“You didn’t because of me?”
He turns his head toward me slightly, barely opening his eyes. “I want to spend all my time with you while you’re here. I can get laid some other time. Besides, I have brand-new toys in the nightstand drawer.”
My tummy flutters slightly when I remember what he bought earlier. “I saw the thing you picked out.”
“What?”
“The dildo.”
He grins. “Yeah? Figuring out what a cock slut I am, huh?”
“I didn’t see it that way. I was more…” I pause, searching my hazy mind for the right word. “Curious, I guess.”
“About?” Nantes opens his eyes a little more. “Me fucking myself with a plastic dick, or…?” He sits up slightly. “Or what it would feel like for you?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “Maybe both. Straights can do butt stuff.” I mimic Roux from earlier.
Nantes chuckles, brushing his hand over the top of his head. “There’s only one way to cure curiosity, and that’s experience.”
I nod. “I know.” My mind is racing with things I shouldn’t be thinking about, but thanks to the alcohol, I can’t make it stop. “Remember what I told you about the guy who offered to blow me?”
“Yeah, your classmate.”
“Did you…? I mean, have you ever…?” I scoff. “Nothing. I should definitely shut the fuck up right now.”
“Safe space, Doc. I can handle whatever questions you have. I’m not shy.”
Instead of speaking, I chew on my bottom lip and ask myself if I really want to know the answer to the question dancing on my tongue. Fuck it.
“Why not me? I know you said because you didn’t want me to know you were gay and stuff, but is that the only reason?”
“Huh?”
“Nantes. Are you or are you not attracted to me?”
His face goes blank as he sits up abruptly. “Why are you asking me that?”
“Because I want to know. Maybe it’s an ego thing.”
He narrows his eyes as he slightly shakes his head. “My sexuality isn’t about your ego, Van. Not cool.”
“What?”
“You want me to blow sunshine up your ass and bare my secrets for you to make you feel better? No deal.”
He starts to get off the couch, but I grab his arm and pull him back down. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?”
What did I mean?
“Look, it’s late, and we’re drunk. We should go to bed.” Nantes tries to stand again, but I keep my grip on him. “Come on, Van.”
“I’ve always thought you were the best person I know.”
