“Yeah, sort of.”
Cam snorted. “That sounds childish.”
“Yeah, well. Not all of us can be old souls at twenty-two,” Dawson said and stretched his back out. But he still didn’t let go of Cam. “You’re kind of a wonder, you know?”
“I am?”
“Yeah. So honest and like . . .uncomplicated. Easy.”
Cam made a face, and Dawson laughed. “I mean it as a compliment. It’s a good thing. It makes this . . .it makes this so good.”
He had to wonder that if he told Dawson everything he was thinking and feeling tonight, if he would still be singing the same tune. He didn’t feel honest or uncomplicated or easy. He wasn’t pushing any of that onto Daws, not yet, so of course he still believed those things were true.
Maybe that wasn’t right, but he understood too, what Dawson had said about fear. It made it hard to be honest.
Because what if he pushed and he ended up pushing Dawson right out of his bed? He had it so good right now. Had everything he wanted, except the words. And maybe those mattered, but would risking everything to get them be worth it? Cam wasn’t sure.
“Itisgood,” Cam said hesitantly. “I didn’t think it could be so good.”
Dawson turned back, curling into him. Amusement on his face. “But you’ve done this before.”
Cam did not roll his eyes but he wanted to. “Yeah, but not like this,” he said. “Not with you.”
It shouldn’t have, but somehow it made it easier that Dawson was dumb and clueless. Truly so stupid to not be able to readbetween the lines. “Oh, and I make all the difference, huh?” He sounded smug.
For a split second, Cam almost told him that he should be the opposite. Embarrassed, actually, for not picking up on what he wasn’t saying. But then, Dawson’s certainty that he made it good—that they made it good together—soothed, too.
“Yeah,” Cam agreed.
Maybe Dawson wasn’t saying it. Maybe Dawson couldn’t verbalize it, even to himself, but there was no question in Cam’s mind.
Hewasfeeling it, too. Just the same as Cam was.
Chapter 16
“You’veworkedyourwaythrough all four of those recs already?” Aidan looked at him in surprise, setting down his chicken wrap. “Seriously?”
“We’ve been going out a few times a week,” Dawson said, trying not to sound defensive. He’d wanted to ask Aidan quickly, before Cam showed up in the cafeteria. “Ordered in a few times.”
“Okay. I didn’t realize you were so serious about it,” Aidan said.
“Notserious,” Dawson said, definitely defensive this time and not sure he could help it. There was just something unsettling about the wordseriousthat he didn’t want to look at too closely.
Aidan shot him a look. Dawson had known the guy for so long, but it had been awhile since they’d spent so much time together, and he was beginning to recognize some of his tics again. And that look? It never boded well.
“I meant, not that you were serious about the rec list,” Aidan said with exaggerated patience. “I meant, you’re clearly serious about the rookie.”
“What?” Dawson squawked. He was right—or wrong, actually, because this was even worse than he’d imagined. “I told you we’re friends. Hanging out. And sure, yeah, hooking up.”
“Daws, you held hands with him for the whole third period of the Leafs game.”
“That was . . .that didn’t mean anything.”
“No?” Aidan’s eyebrow skidded up.
“I was nervous about the game. We wanted the Leafs to win, and thatwasa stressful third period. Only a one-goal game.”
“I’ve never known you to give two shits about hockey or the Leafs,” Aidan countered. “Youorhim. What was the score on their game Friday night? Who are they playing tonight?”
