He sighs. “Are you sure? Because you’d have to be at our place at seven-thirty on Monday morning.”
“I can do that. Apparently, I’m an adult,” I say, drawing on my ability to pretend everything’s fine to get through this call.
“You sure?”
“Not about being an adult, but definitely about coming by to do Olive’s hair.”
He laughs, then says, “No. I’ll do it.”
“Good lord, Liam. She didn’t ask for a kidney. She asked for some help so she can look like her little friends for picture day. Bring her over tomorrow so I can play with her hair for a while … and maybe take her into Sydney to get her a chic outfit.”
“No, that’s too much. I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You didn’t. Olive asked about the hair and I’m the one who wants to go shopping. It would be very satisfying for me to see her go to school looking like she owns the place.”
“All right, that would be nice for her, actually, but I’m going to give you cash for the clothes. That’s non-negotiable.”
I can hear her squealing with delight in the background, then after a quick back and forth between her and Liam, she comes back on the phone.
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Abby!”
“Anytime, sweetie.” I wish I could hug her right now.
“Dad said he’ll bring me over around eleven tomorrow, okay?”
“I’ll be waiting.”
She hangs up, and I can picture her bouncing around with a big grin, knowing that for once, she’s going to look like the girls in her class, instead of a motherless child. The thought both breaks my heart and makes it sing. She needs this, and it’s something I can do for her.
I get up and put the kettle on for some tea while I think about Olive. She’s innocent and sweet and makes the best of any situation. And here I’ve been, moping around, feeling sorry for myself because the guy I have a crush on may or may not be blowing me off. While across town, a little girl who lives on a tiny boat with her dad is calling me because she doesn’t have a mom who can make her hair look pretty for picture day. And if I say no, she won’t complain. Not Olive. She’ll say, ‘okay’ and go to school with whatever she and her dad can come up with, and she’ll smile just as brightly as if she had the most beautiful hairdo in the world. I need to take a page out of her book.
My entire life, I’ve thought that children would be exhausting because you have to teach them everything about being an adult, when the truth is, they teach you about how we’re supposed to live. Olive possesses a wisdom that is both jarring and beautiful. She’s been a mirror for me, holding up who I am for my careful examination. This brings the odd glimpse of pride, like when she says I’m the funniest person she’s met, but also moments like this, of deep shame. Maybe this is why I avoided children my entire life. Because some wise part of me knew they wield the power to force self-reflection, and it’s just so much easier to go on ignoring one’s shortcomings.
I may be broken-hearted, but I’m also exceedingly self-centered.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
~ Dorothy Parker
It’s Monday at seven a.m. as I hurry up the pier. I’m earlier than we had originally planned, but I’m worried I’ll need extra time to make her look just right. The chilly autumn air nips at my skin as I shift the heavy bag of hair products and supplies looped over my arm. It’s still dim out, and I can see the lights shining brightly inside the cabin as I approach the boat. I’m a bit of a nervous wreck about this entire thing. Somehow, I’ve decided that this is like a ‘potential step-mom for my child’ audition, even though I know Liam wouldn’t think of it that way. I’ve been driving myself crazy all weekend thinking about everything that’s happened (and hasn’t happened) between Thursday night and now. I mean, that was some high-level flirting at the pub, but then after … I don’t know what the hell that was. Him being a gentleman? Him trying to put off the inevitable (which would be letting me down easy)? Him secretly being so in love with me he’s been trying to forge an engagement ring in his spare time so he can present it to me in the mother of all proposals?
Okay, so that last one’s not likely. I know that. He and I were very much ‘business as usual,’ on Saturday, not that there was an opportunity to talk. Maybe we should leave well enough alone. We can go on like this, with me being Olive’s part-time caregiver and friend to both of them. It’s better than nothing.
I lug my purse and my heavy bag up the ladder, then take a deep breath.Relax, Abby. It’s just hair.
Liam opens the door, then takes my things so I can climb down into the cabin.
“Good morning,” he says, in a warm tone that says, ‘we’re friends and that’s that.’ “I made you some tea.”
“Oh great, thanks,” I say, channeling my inner smooth, powerful Lauren.
Olive, who is already dressed in the black leggings and turquoise crocheted sweater we picked up, rushes around her dad to give me a huge hug. I hug her back and plant a kiss on top of her head. “Shall we get to work?”
She nods, her eyes wild with excitement. “I can’t wait for everyone to see me with smooth, straight hair just like yours.”
“Well, I love your curls, but I suppose I can miss them for today.”
