“Hello, everyone,” I say, glancing around before fixing my gaze on the man I’m here to see. “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Abigail Carson. Some people know me as the resident New Yorker in the village. To others, I’m the hermit of the sea rock.” I take one step into the room, then stop and clear my throat. “I’m glad you’re all here because I have a confession to make. Several actually. I know it’s been going around that I’m not interested in any type of romantic entanglement, but that’s a lie. I actually started that rumor because I’m a coward and I like to take the easy way out.”
Liam’s expression is unreadable to me, so I keep going, my heart thumping at record speed while I try to keep my voice strong and steady. “But the thing about taking the easy way out is that it turns out it’s the fastest way to a lonely, boring, horrible existence. And I don’t want that anymore because it’s not real. I want the magic and the mystery that comes with really living. I want to be with the one man who knows I’m crazy but might just love me anyway.”
No one moves. No one speaks. And for one horrible moment, I’m certain I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. I try to smile at Liam, but my face screws up with emotion instead. “I’m going to wait for you to say something because I’m so scared, my legs feel like they’re about to give out and I’m fresh out of confessions.”
Liam tilts his head and makes a little humph sound, then puts down his beer. “I thought once you made up your mind, you never changed it.”
“Also a lie.”
His eyes light up and he grins. “So are you saying you might be interested in a certain rugged, handsome Canadian?”
Relief washes over me. I shake my head and narrow my eyes at him. “I never should have called you that.”
“But you did and now they’ll all know you said it, so you can’t take it back.”
“Are you going to come over here and kiss me now?” I ask, holding back my tears. “Because I flew all this way and drove through a hell of a storm to tell you I’m in love with you.”
And finally, he’s moving toward me. I rush to him and he reaches out, pulling me to him with his strong, sure hands. I kiss him hard on the mouth and feel his lips on mine. Immediately I’m lifted to another world, bursting with love and passion, and I know he’s there with me. He feels it too.
Applause and some random cheers fill the room but we both ignore it. His hands move up to my cheeks, and he holds my face as he tilts my head and, oh my, now we’re really kissing. I had completely forgotten how this could feel. It’s heaven right here in the pub and I’m pretty sure my heart is going to burst with happiness. He wraps his arms around my waist now and holds me up, and it’s a good thing because my knees have turned to jelly.
Peter taps us both on the shoulders and clears his throat. “So, anyway, we should get back to the music now. If you’d like, the honeymoon suite is available. We’ll give you fifty percent off.”
Liam rests his forehead on mine and we both laugh. Then he says, “No thanks. We don’t need you all listening in.”
* * *
We make it into the house before Liam spins me to him and kisses me again. We strip off each other’s winter coats and wool hats. Grinning at him, I say, “Canadian strip tease.”
Liam laughs, then his smile fades, replaced by something much more serious we’ve been pretending isn’t there. “It’s going to be hard, Abby. So much harder than either of us can grasp right now.”
“I know. And I’m okay with that, Liam.” My eyes fill with tears, and I don’t care to fight them. Tears are appropriate right now. “I’m hopelessly in love with you and I want to be with you, no matter what that means.”
His eyes fill with tears too, and I kiss him again to let him know we’re in this together. The feeling of his lips against mine feeds a craving deep within me, the part that yearns for the touch of another human being. The part that craves only him. I look up into his eyes, and I see love there. I want to be looked at this way every day for the rest of my life, but I know I’ll have to settle for every day for the rest of his.
When we pull back, he says, “You’re not scared?”
“Oh, no, I’m fucking terrified, but let’s do it anyway.”
He smiles, then kisses me again. This time it’s slow and sweet and passionate. It’s everything I need right now. It calms my fears and wakes parts of me that have been dormant for so long. The parts that let me know I am a woman. Our mouths move together, and it is utter perfection. We stay in this beautiful embrace so long I lose all track of time. And I forget about the future because I’m swept away by this perfect moment with this completely perfect man.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Going in one more round when you don’t think you can. That’s what makes all the difference in your life.
~ Rocky Balboa
Neither of us bring up Liam over the next week. Instead, we carefully avoid the topic, preferring to talk about old times rather than the future. I keep expecting my mom to come to me with a listing of condos for sale, but she doesn’t. Instead, she gives me the space I need, and I wonder if it’s because we feel so close now that space doesn’t hurt her anymore.
It’s after supper and I’m at my brother’s house. The kids have been teaching me to play Wii tennis and we’ve all been having a laugh at my pathetic attempts. I have to play left-handed which makes me less skilled and far more amusing to everyone. Somehow, the satisfaction of making my nephews and niece laugh is totally worth the humiliation. I’m sweaty and my face hurts from smiling, and I can’t remember when I was ever this silly.
Tammy comes to the rec room to find us when it’s time for Graham and Kaitlyn to go upstairs to get ready for bed. They groan and beg for another half hour with Auntie Abby. I know their antics are irritating their poor mom, but I can’t help secretly enjoying the fact that they want to be around me. They negotiate their way to an extra ten minutes, then the game resume.
When she returns, she’s taken on an ‘I mean business’ tone, and the children accept their fate. Christopher, my oldest nephew, has been informed that he must finish his homework now, so the TV has to be shut off. His shoulders drop and he looks at me.
“Sorry. I have to do a stupid reflection essay about a field trip we went on today.”
“That’s no problem. We can pick up our game another time.”
