“Even better. Chicks think they’re adorable.”
Hope, the assistant Sullivan and Stone sent to help with crowd management, clears her throat. “I don’t mean to rush you, Mr. Davenport, but the line is not getting any shorter.”
I glance down the length of the hall, seeing she’s right. Unlike her, I’m in no rush to get this over with because I really have no desire to go back to my empty hotel room. Giving my new friend an apologetic look, I hold out my hand for a fist bump. “Thanks for the advice.”
“Any time.”
A middle-aged woman in a slutty Oona costume is next in line. She giggles and thrusts her copy ofThe Fire of Knightsat me. “Can you make it out to Tammy-Lynn, the real Oona?”
“Sure,” I say, trying not to glance at the considerable cleavage spilling out as she leans over the table.
“I just want you to know, I never doubted you for a second. I knew you’d finish the series and that it would be better than anything that has ever been written.”
She’s the one-hundredth person to say that today, by the way, which is weird since the last one of these I did, it was literally a five-to-one odds that the next fan in line had turned on me and had shown up with the sole purpose of blasting me for being in there at all.
“Thanks. I appreciate your faith in me.” I hand her back the book and give her a smile that says ‘I’m nice but also busy, so move it along, Slutty Old Oona.’
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Hope takes this as her cue to cut in. “Sorry, Mr. Davenport has a lot of fans waiting, so he needs to continue on to the next person.”
Tammy-Lynn looks highly offended, but moves along, making way for an enormous guy dressed as Zhordal mo Rhandar, the evil overlord of the underworld inClash of Crowns. He’s so tall, he could actually pass for the real guy if he wasn’t holding a mobile phone in one hand and a book in the other. I’m temporarily blinded by the flash as he catches a great shot of me with my mouth open, about to ask him to whom I should make out the inscription. He thrusts his copy ofThe Chamber of Dragonsat me without a word.
Yes, this socially awkward man suffering from gigantism is my people. Like me, he is destined to never have sex again. “Hello, that’s quite the Zhordal costume. Well done, you.”
Sensing another lengthy conversation, Hope leans toward him and says, “Whom should he make it out to?”
A loud yell from the other side of the hall distracts Zhordal, who turns, lifting himself on his toes for a better look at what’s going on. He mutters, “What the hell?”
Standing, I wait until I see the cause of the murmurs going through the crowd—a man dressed as Edward Scissorhands is scurrying along with his arms at his sides whilst glancing over his shoulder. Behind him, a team of security guards and a woman in a white blouse are attempting to chase him through the throngs of people and calling for him to “Stop right there!” But Edward keeps going. Slippery little fellow.
“Is this some sort of art performance piece?” Hope asks. “Are they re-enacting the scene where he gets chased out of town?”
“Somehow I think this is real,” I answer, unable to peel my eyes off the terrified-looking Edward as his wild black hair bobs with every step. Huh, there’s something familiar about him. I find myself cheering for him for some unknown reason. He just looks so…vulnerable.
“Why doesn’t he just start running?” Zhordal asks.
“Because you shouldn’t run with scissorhands,” I say, chuckling at my own joke.
Oh goody. He’s headed this way.
I put my Sharpie down while Zhordal breaks character long enough to video the ensuing chase.
“Stop! We know who you are, lady!” the woman calls out.
Lady?
“I only need one minute!” Edward calls back in a high-pitched voice. “One minute and then I’ll leave! I promise!”
Uh oh, now she’s locked eyes with me and she’s literally making a beeline for me. “Pierce! It’s me!”
Fuck me. I stand, my body feeling suddenly numb. “Emma?”
“Yes! It’s me!” she shouts just as she’s tackled by the woman, who has outstripped her security counterparts.
Emma falls, her hands flying out in front of her, stabbing Captain Kirk in the arse as she goes down. Captain Kirk shrieks in pain as he’s thrust onto the ground with Emma on top of his legs. The security guards pile on top of the woman who’s on top of Emma.
My heart pounds in my chest as my brain scrambles to catch up with what’s going on. Emma ishere?!
