She looks at me over the rim of her glasses wearing an expression that says ‘I’m not here to help you out.’ “Sold out. Next year, buy tickets earlier.”
“Oh, no…you don’t understand,” I say with a chuckle. “I’m not a fantasy fan. There’s someone inside who I must speak withurgently. I’ve come a long way, actually all the way from the Benaventes, and I just need to get inside for a few minutes so I can talk to him. Then I’ll leave straight away, I promise,” I say, giving her a confident nod.
“If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, I wouldn’t be sitting here all day. Nobody gets in without a badge.”
Walking around the table, I crouch a little and wrap my arm around her shoulder, “Yeah, here’s the thing, I need to get in there to see Pierce Davenport. And trust me, he’llwantto see me. In fact, he’ll probably besohappy to see me, I could easily score you an autograph or a picture with him if you like.”
Why did I think this would work? I amwaytoo close to this strange woman. Like ‘I can smell her coffee breath’ close. This is awkward even for me.
Shifting away from me, Sloane says, “Okay, you’re going to need to step back onto the other side of the desk before I call security.”
“Righto.” I straighten up and do as I’m told. “Now, about getting me…” My voice trails off and I gesture in the general direction of the exhibition halls with my head, “Inside.”
“Yeah, not happening.”
“I really do know Pierce Davenport.”
“And Jo Rowling’s my bestie. In fact, as soon as my shift ends, she’s picking me up on the roof in her helicopter so we can go for drinks,” Sloane says dryly.
Nodding quickly, I say, “I can totally see why this sounds insane, but I assure youin my case, it’s true.” I lean down a bit and say, “Woman to woman here, Pierce and I were an item and I sort of messed things up but Iknowhe wants to get back together. And if you’d just let me inside, you’d become part of an epic love story.”
“Aww, in that case,” Sloane says, clutching one hand to her chest, “no.”
Picking up a walkie-talkie on the table, she stares at me while she says, “I’m going to need security at the reception desk. We’ve got another Davenport stalker.”
“I amnotastalker,” I say indignantly.
“Tell it to him,” she says, pointing with her thumb to a very large man who is suddenly standing to my left.
He’s dressed in a wannabe cop uniform, but the look on his muscles say he’s not messing around. “Let’s go, lady.”
My shoulders droop as I follow him to the door. I sulk as I make a half-circle in the revolving door out into the late afternoon air.
Now what?
I stand on the sidewalk, staring back at the building while I try to think of a plan. I watch as Wonder Woman and Batman hop out of a cab and rush inside, grinning at each other. Hmm…I wonder if Batman has one of those grapple hook things on his belt and he’d be willing to help me scale the wall, get onto the roof, and in through an air duct.
He trips on his own foot and nearly falls but Wonder Woman rights him just in time.
Nope.
“You get in the Green Lantern line, and I’ll go straight for Lucamor Dalgaeron,” he says.
“Other way around,” Wonder Woman answers.
Nerds.
Happy, happy, nerds.
A lone thin man walks out dressed in jeans, a ball cap, and a wool coat. He’s carrying a large plastic bag and has weird white makeup all over his face, except the areas around his eyes have big black circles of makeup. He looks as dejected as I feel. And then it hits me. The answer to my conundrum is about to walk away.
* * *
Ever wear a wig that a strange man just removed from his own head?
Up until today, the answer to that question would have been a hard no for me, along with a ‘I just threw up in my mouth a little’ joke. But, now, as I stand in the skeevy bathroom of the 7-11 in full costume, I stare in the mirror. “He better fucking love you.”
After a stop at a bank machine, I’m now dressed as Edward Scissorhands, scissors and all. Well, one scissorhand so far. I need help with the second one. The costume cost me a painful $200 USD, plus $100 USD for the badge, and I had to buy five dollars worth of stuff to get the keys to the bathroom, but I’m now unrecognizable to the security team.
