So I have to trust that they’re smart and strong enough to take care of themselves.
That they’ll call for help when they need it.
Just like Paisley did tonight.
“He plays basketball.” Paisley’s breathing is ragged as she starts crying again. “And he wouldn’t quit touching my friends either. He—he hooked up with one of them last weekend, but then he got weird, so she didn’t want to see him again.”
“Where are your friends?”
“They left. I didn’t know they left. They brought me here. I didn’t know how to get home. I’m sor?—”
She cuts herself off and looks at Addie.
“Good job,” Addie whispers. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you for coming to get me.”
Addie wraps her in a hug. “Absolutely any fucking time at all. I’m going to get you a list of backup numbers since Duncan andI both travel so much, okay? Safe people. Good people. You can share them with your friends too.”
My heart starts beating again.
The night lies, my therapist used to tell me.It tells you the scary things that you want to believe.
The night is lying to me.
The night is telling me Addie will use this—will use us missing a call from Paisley—as an excuse to break up with me.
That she’ll saysure, we got to her safely this time, but what if we don’t the next time?
Except she’s already solving that problem.
We’ll get you other numbers to call if one of us doesn’t answer.
One of us.
Fuck me.
Ineed to quit being scared too.
I need to quit being scared that I’m not enough. I need to quit being scared that I’ll let her down. I need to quit being scared that she doesn’t need me.
She shouldn’t have to need me.
I just want her towantme.
“I was drinking,” Paisley whispers.
Addie makes a noise. “You’re in college. That’s expected.”
“I didn’t drink much though. I didn’t—I didn’t want to be dumb.”
Being involved with Addie is an exercise in feeling useless.
She meets my eyes while she hugs my niece, and the sad smile that crosses her features almost makes my heart crack.
Paisley’s safe.
Addie’s a fucking goddess who clearly knows how to handle this better than I do.
