Because I’d been dumb enough to choose Chandler.
But what if I wasn’t afraid?
What if I refused to let things hold me back?
What if I hadn’t gone to school to study accounting merely because I knew it would make me a solid, dependable living with minimal student debt? What if I’d gone to veterinarian school instead? Or art school?
Who would I be today?
Who could I be tomorrow if I’m brave?
My vision blurs and my sinuses burn.
“Emma?” Jonas says softly.
“If I could do anything in the world, right now, I’d kiss you.”
He holds my gaze for a long, thick, heavy moment before sweeping a glance around us.
I know what he’s looking for.
Who’s nearby? Who can see us? Is this safe?
Those beautiful brown eyes finish their study of everything around us and meet mine again. “If I could do anything in the world right now, I wouldn’t want to stop with you kissing me.”
My pulse is humming a tune I know so, sowell. My vagina aches. My clit tingles. My nipples are pointing and my heart—
My heart is bursting out of the rock wall I’ve hidden it behind since the disaster that was my wedding day, shedding the last of the pebbles and concrete that are still lodged around it, reminding me how much this could hurt.
“I wanted you to sleep in my bed last night,” I whisper.
“I want to sleep in your bed every night.”
“You scare me and make me believe there’s still good in the world at the same time.”
“Youarethe good in my world.”
“Jonas—”
I can’t finish. I don’t know what I want to say.
I just know that kissing him is necessary. It’s theonlyanswer.
And I don’t care who’s watching. I don’t care who could see us.
I get to choose love.
I do.
And I don’t know what kind of love this is—friend love,loverlove, forever love—but I know that what I feel for Jonas is some kind of love, and the only way—theonlyway I can say it is by kissing him.
So I lean in. Let my eyes drift closed while I stroke his rough cheek and touch my lips to his again.
A sigh shudders out of him while he grips my forearm, holding my arm in place, kissing me back.
Soft.
Gentle.
