Sabrina
And now I’m seriously debating if Drunk Laney would do a better job babysitting Theo than sober Laney… You might be a little too optimistic here.
Stop. This is fine. It’s a small favor for Emma in the grand scheme of things. Theo’s so mad that I’m invading his space that I think he’ll avoid Chandler on his own so that I can come stay with you and Claire instead until more rooms open up.
Sabrina
This is not a small favor.
No, it is. What’s a couple days of my life in exchange for one of my favorite people in the world having less stress for her wedding week?
Sabrina
Okay, Saint Laney.
You’d do the same for me. So would Emma.
Sabrina
Except you have no weird family members that your parents would let you invite to your wedding, and one has to DATE in order to have a reason to GET MARRIED, and we all know how that’s going since Christopher the Boring.
Maybe I’ll use one of those dating apps and find a hottie here in Hawaii.
Sabrina
During babysitting duty for Theo? He’s not the troublemaker he was in high school anymore, but he’ll still be a handful. Your optimism truly knows no bounds.
Last question, and then I really need to get in the shower before I waste too much water—do you know if Theo has…an animal…problem?
Sabrina
*bulging eyes emoji* Was that autocorrect, or did you just ask me if Theo has an animal problem?
I haven’t seen him much in years, and I get the impression that he…likes…animals.
Sabrina
I’m breaking this door down.
NO! Do NOT cause problems for Emma. DO NOT! I just need to know if it’s normal for him to do things with animals everywhere he goes. Like, is this a project for his dad? Or is he just screwing with me to try to chase me out of here?
Sabrina
Laney. Theo has literally not ventured more than two hours from home for like four years. There is no “everywhere he goes.” And no, he does not DO THINGS WITH ANIMALS at home. What the HELL is going on in that room?
Never mind. I’m realizing just how stupid of a question that is. Theo’s screwing with me. He loves to screw with people. I’m sure it’s just the TV in the other room making weird noises.
Sabrina
Theo doesn’t screw with people.
Yes, he does.
Sabrina
No, he doesn’t. He has two main goals in life: Have fun and don’t get caught. He does not go out of his way, ever, to screw with people. Not like this.
Even people who have moved into his bungalow for his sister’s wedding week?
