“Nothing to solve,” he grunts.
“If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be mean.”
He freezes at that.
He knows.
He knowsexactlywhat I’m calling him on.
I was mean because I liked you and I didn’t know how to deal with it.
When he finally slowly turns to look me straight in the eye, dread blossoms so hard in my stomach that everything in my core clenches.
“Guess that’s the answer then,” he says. “I’m not good for you. Never have been. Never will be. Good luck, Laney. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for. But it’s not me. It was never going to be me.”
And then he’s gone, taking the cats and striding out the door so fast, I’d have no chance to keep up with him.
He doesn’t pack his duffel bag. Grab his suitcase. Retrieve the ring light from under the bed that’s no longer a point of curiosity, but instead a glaringyou should’ve seen this comingpiece of evidence about what he does for aday job.
But I guess when you’re one of the biggest internet porn stars in the world, you don’t care if you have to buy a new toothbrush or a new ring light.
“You’re being a giant idiot,” I hear Sabrina say outside the bungalow.
Theo grunts again.
And then she’s catching the door and looking inside at me, her makeup running, her hair a mess, utter grief shimmering in her eyes in the very, very worst ways.
“Wanna go get drunk?” she whispers.
No, I don’t want to go get drunk.
I want tonot hurt.
But I nod to her anyway because what thehellelse are we going to do?
“Yes.”
37
Laney
Smell that?
That’s the smell of playing hooky on fresh powder under a brilliant winter-blue Colorado sky.
Sabrina couldn’t come. She’s busy trying to figure out how to get Bean & Nugget back. Emma went on her honeymoon solo. Or so Claire relayed to us. Em hasn’t actually talked to any of us since the wedding that wasn’t.
My parents are less horrified than I thought they’d be at the idea of me taking another day off work right after getting back from Hawaii.
So I convinced a neighbor to come with me, and I’m pretending I’m paying attention to her friendly chatter while we ride the lift up the slopes.
Theo’s a dick.
My heart hurts.
AndI am not going back.
Back to work, yes. Today or tomorrow. I still love my job, no matter what questions I’ll face when I set foot in the office again.
