I knew I got it right with Hannah. And that made her the one thing I was afraid I’d screw up when this would be a bigger screwup than anything I’d ever done.
Now, every passing day, I’m realizing she won’t discover she made a mistake with Andrew.
I’m the one who’s wrong.
I’m the one who’s been wrong the past two years.
Six years, really.
I was never the guy she could’ve loved, no matter how much I’ve turned my life around since the days when she had no reason to stick by me but did anyway.
I was never supposed to be hers, and even if I was, I ruined that with everything I did as a kid.
Doesn’t matter how many years it’s been since I got my head screwed on straight. She knows more than anyone what I’m capable of when I make up my mind to be a total shit.
Who can blame her for not wanting that in her life? Or for not wanting to risk a kid with my genes?
Maybe I wasn’t blind all those years we were friends with benefits.
Maybe Ididknow what I had, and I was too terrified she didn’t feel the same to risk losing the one person who’d believed in me even in the years when I didn’t believe in myself.
As if it mattered.
The end result is the same. She’s not mine. She was never supposed to be mine.
And that’s one extra pill I don’t think I have it in me to swallow today.
I grab another piece of bacon, look at my watch, and make myself grunt. “Shit. Lost track of time. I gotta go. Mrs.Meierson gets cranky if I’m two seconds late.” I lean across the table and peck Hannah on the cheek, like I always do. “Congrats, Cabana. Thanks for breakfast. Let me know if you need interference when you drop the news.”
She gives me a look that says I’m being weird, but she’ll let it go.
For now.
“Enjoy unclogging those toilets.”
“Always do.”
Almost wish that were everything on my agenda today. But even clogged toilets wouldn’t be as shitty as I feel right now.
Chapter 5
Tavi
I’m late for a family meeting.
Usually, I revel in pushing the line at being late. It makes Gigi furious. My mother freaks over Gigi being furious. My father grunts because he, too, bends to her will, though I think in his case, it’s more path of least resistance than it is fear. And my brother and sister generally send me dirty looks for making things more unpleasant for all of us.
But this family meeting promises to be different from the meetings when we first got here to Tickled Pink two months ago and moved into the condemned school building that Gigi swears is good for our souls.
I don’t know how mold, questionable electricity, cold showers, and dead animals in the hallway were supposed to translate to our souls improving, but Gigi doesn’t like to do anything without torture.
I’ve spent the past two months trying to fly just under her radar, cleaning and helping at the school, running and taking selfies everywhere to keep up my reputation, blatantly defying the rule about no phones or internet to keep my socials going, schmoozing with the townsfolk who are fans and calling it community work, and sneaking off to work on my chocolate project at every opportunity.
Until my mother dropped the bomb of all family bombs and left a few weeks ago, followed closely by Phoebe telling Gigi off and walking away completely from the family business, leaving Gigi with nothing else to hold over either of them, my plans to keep all my balls in the air were working.
But now, when we gather every morning in the cafeteria for our daily save-our-souls assignments, it’s just the three of us. Me, Carter, and Dad. Well, and Gigi’s butler, Niles, who’s her not-so-secret boyfriend, but he tends to stick to himself.
One, who can blame him? And two, Gigi isn’t trying to savehissoul. Apparently he’s good enough in bed to avoid that fate.
