My stomach rolls over.
Hashtag yowls in his carrier.
And I remind myself that I have to breathe.
Cooper will be okay. Kiva’s with him, and he’ll probably call in another fifteen minutes and be like,Wow, I knew I smelled good, but I had no idea I smelled THAT good, and we’ll laugh, and he’ll get on a plane, and I’ll get on another plane, and maybe we’ll see each other again sometime in August.
Hashtag yowls again.
I unzip his carrier enough to slip my hand inside and rub his furry head. “Same, buddy. I don’t understand exactly what you said, butsame.”
30
From the text messages of Team Wooperly
Cooper:I swear on my favorite baseball glove, it was a one-time only thing like five years ago, and I didn’t know she was a paparazzo when we hooked up, and I didn’t know she’d publish that, and I still don’t understand how they made YOU look bad and ME look like a saint, and I’m seriously pissed on your behalf, and I promise, IT WAS YEARS AGO.
Cooper: Right. You’re on stage right now and you won’t get this for a few hours. Hiramys, I sincerely hope you’re on phone duty tonight. Ignore everything else I’m about to text so that you can have plausible deniability.
Cooper: Pop, my grandpa, has gone full pirate. He’s PISSED. And he’s old. And sometimes he forgets to wear pants, but we’re pretty sure he doesn’t like pants, so he goes without but tells us he forgets when really… Okay. Not the point.
Cooper: Starting over. Pop’s been standing on the crow’s nest above Grady’s bakery, using a bullhorn every day to tell everyone to sign the petition Nana’s been overseeing to have all tabloids banned from Shipwreck. He might’ve made the news in Copper Valley yesterday. And then some of the national news networks might have picked it up.
Cooper: So, basically, I’m sorry about Pop and the OTHER coverage in the tabloids too. But none of what he’s saying is wrong.
Cooper: Also, for the record, when that fucker standing on second insulted my nail polish and you all in one breath tonight, I wasn’t smiling because I was amused. I was smiling because I was picturing myself smacking the shit out of the ball the next time I was up to bat and hitting it so hard and fast that it knocked him on his ass.
Cooper: *gif of the fucker landing on his ass after trying to catch Cooper’s line drive in the game earlier tonight*
Cooper: This gif is me reminding you that you can manifest any fucking thing you want to manifest. Except, apparently, removing that godawful story about me and that paparazzo that’s circulating faster than my line drive.
Cooper: I am really sorry about that.
Cooper: And I’m more sorry that they keep publishing shit that makes you look like you’re the bad guy here. You’re not the bad guy. YOU ARE NOT THE BAD GUY.
Waverly: Wow. A girl goes to put on a show and comes back to a novel. Are you okay?
Cooper: Am I okay? AM I OKAY? No, I’m not fucking okay, because I don’t know if you’re okay.
Waverly: *selfie of herself in a bubble bath, sans makeup, but with a cat sitting at the side of the tub*
Waverly: Have you slept with any other women since we hung out at your house in Shipwreck?
Cooper: Jesus. No. I don’t even SEE other women anymore. It’s like there are baseball players, there are dudes in other parts of my life, and then there are these genderless other people who are sometimes nice and sometimes ask me questions and we hang out if we were already friends or if we’re related, but they’re just like, globs of human beings who hold no interest for my libido.
Waverly: And have you told anyone any massive major secrets about me that will show up on the gossip pages soon?
Cooper: *jaw dropped emoji* You even have to ask?
Waverly: I think you needed me to ask so that you could remind yourself that you’re not the bad guy here, and I know it.
Cooper: … So… You’re okay?
Waverly: This is just one more day in my life.
Cooper: BUT THIS IS NOT OKAY. This shouldn’t be your normal. For the record, when I go talk to Mackenzie, it’s because she says she knows people who can curse people, and I am getting the paparazzi fucking CURSED.
Waverly: Are YOU okay? This feels like more than you’ve ever had to deal with before on a publicity front. Even bigger than the airport last week.
