“Do we need to repeat this same conversation?” Zinnia Sweet asks.
“Nope.”
“Good.”
“We’re having a different one instead. Waverly’s a grown woman, and I’m no longer a kid you can push around.”
“Your arrogance won’t get you far with me.”
“Same.”
I hang up.
Arguing with Zinnia Sweet will get me nowhere, and I clearly can’t talk to Waverly at the moment.
Doesn’t mean I’m done for the night though.
Being the guy who deserves whatever time she’ll give me is all that matters.
24
From the text messages of Team Wooperly
Waverly:Hey! You around?
Cooper: This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. If you’re a pop sensation after a concert, show me your favorite GIF of me. If you’re anyone else using her phone, please fuck off and send me the receipt.
Waverly: *selfie, wincing* Aunt Zinnia answered when you called during taping.
Cooper: I’d answer that call from you right now, but someone made a zillion copies of my hotel key and I keep finding my teammates’ wives and girlfriends waiting in my own room to give me an earful, so I’m currently hiding in an unnamed teammate’s closet and they don’t know I’m here and I don’t want to make any noise to alert them to that fact.
Waverly: So the entire Fireballs organization has seen the gossip.
Cooper: Yeah. They’re pissed at me.
Cooper: And I don’t blame them. I’m a bad look for you.
Cooper: For the record, I would’ve written that article a lot differently. POP STAR TAKES PITY ON BASEBALL PLAYER WHO KNOWS SHE’S TOO GOOD FOR HIM. Today, we discovered that Waverly Sweet is truly the best among us as she demonstrated that she, too, is a normal human being who is sometimes attracted to fun-loving men who wear horrible colors on their baseball jerseys and have demonstrated all season long that they’re only good when compared to how badly their team normally plays.
Waverly: Oh, stop. You’re worthy. EVERYONE is worthy. I get why people think I’m special, but I’m really not. And you don’t like the Fireballs colors? Seriously?
Cooper: You definitely deserve better than some fuckwad insulting your wardrobe while praising my ass. You look a gajillion times better than me any hour of the day.
Waverly: *gif of Cooper laughing with Baby Ash at Duggan Field* You look pretty great here.
Cooper: They caught my good side. On the other side, I looked like a monster. Plus—don’t tell anyone, I’ll deny it—this new Fireballs orange doesn’t do good things for my ass. But baseball gods shouldn’t worry about that. And I should worry about you. You okay? You didn’t get shit from your aunt over all of this, did you?
Waverly: We had a disagreement over whether this should be used as a promotional opportunity before my makeup line launches in two weeks, or if she should shut up and stay out of my personal life. Also, I have to apologize. I’m almost positive she’s the one who leaked everything.
Cooper: My pop—my grandpa—was the one who spilled the beans about my superstition. That’s on me. I talked to him and told him not to trust anyone, even people in pirate costumes.
Waverly: Poor guy. Is he okay?
Cooper: Oh, yeah. Hometown hero. Everyone’s celebrating him for being the guy who’s going up to my house every night to do a pirate ritual to break my superstition curse. Don’t ask. Wait. Actually, you should probably know, in case they twist it to make it look like your fault too. He likes to garden in the nude and he swears it evens out the bad energy in the universe. Also, probably don’t head out to my house in Shipwreck unannounced. Not that you’re not welcome at my houses. The ones I live in, I mean. Not the ones I use as rental property. I never know when they’re occupied and that could get awkward. You’re welcome anytime in my actual inhabitances though. The one in Shipwreck or the one in Copper Valley. Not that you need them. I know you have a million houses of your own. But if you want mine, feel free. Door code’s the same on both of them. Shit. I’m rambling on text. And here I go, sending without deleting, because you already know what you’re getting into, so it’s not like this’ll make me look worse, and if I retype it and send a single sentence instead, you’ll know I was rambling anyway for how long it took me to just say YES.
Waverly: *laughing emoji* I honestly appreciate how real you are.
Cooper: And I appreciate that you appreciate it.
