That explains why Sawyer and Mara were acting strange my first day at the school.
“This was before I came back into town?” I ask, voice breaking.
Mara nods. “Gia’s right, Brie. A lot of people here love you, and I think that includes Sawyer. Based on what you told us, I think he always loved you. And I know Blue Ridge was a hard place for you to grow up in, harder than either of us had it” —she gestures between herself and Gia— “but if you want to belong here, there’s room for you. We’llmakeroom for you. Especially Sawyer.”
Something in my brain clicks into place. Christopher tried to hide me, and I never thought twice about it, preferring the anonymity.
But Sawyer is nothing like Christopher. It never crossed Sawyer’s mind to hide me. Partly because he simplycan’thide in this town—it’s a given that he’ll garner attention wherever he goes—but mostly because he’s only had honorable intentions since I got here. He’s a genuine, good man.
Tenderness spreads through me, followed swiftly by shame at how I behaved tonight.
Don’t all my problems with Sawyer boil down to the publicity of being with him? The itch to slither into the shadows every time we’re out together?
That’s not what went wrong tonight.
I think back to a couple hours ago. To earlier this afternoon, and Bob Ross. To Sawyer’s comment about Christmas. The itchiness I feel every time I think to the future.
At once, it dawns on me:I don’t want to leave. Something that’s been coiled tight in the deepest parts of me begins to unknot.
I’ve taken it for granted that Ihaveto leave. But the discomfort of living in this town is eclipsed by the overwhelming desire to stay with the people I love.
When did that happen?
Cold fear penetrates my bloodstream. What if Ican’tstay? The hiring process isn’t up to Sawyer, it’s done differently here.
It would break not just my heart, but maybe Sawyer’s if I’m forced to leave after confessing I want to stay. I’ve already caused him too much grief as it is.
I’ve got to make sure I know what I want before I talk to him. He deserves that much.
“Now,” Gia says, pushing herself off the counter. “Ibelong in bed.”
Mara and I watch as she puts her empty wine glass in the sink, recycles the wine bottle, and wipes down thecounter with practiced efficiency. Then, she walks around the island to where Mara and I sit.
We swivel on our stools to face her.
Her arms come around the two of us. Simultaneously, we stand, wrapping one another in a tight hug.
“I love the two of you so much,” she says into my hair. “And I’m so profoundly proud of you both. You deserve happiness.”
Mara sniffles. “I love you both, too.” Her voice is a restrained wail. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“I love you too,” I ugly-cry into their shoulders.
CHAPTER 44
SAWYER
“This thing isthe weight of a thousand suns,” Will grunts.
“You’re the one who wanted to move it with the drawers in,” I heave.
“Because I’mefficient.” He wheezes the last word as we lower the dresser onto the floor of my bedroom.
“Pretty sure it was because you didn’t want to make multiple tripsdown the hall.” It comes out testier than I intend.
He shoots me a flat look, and I’m instantly aware of how much time my brother’s put into this place with me, and how much my bad mood is not Will’s problem.
This whole week, I’ve stayed away from the teachers’ lounge and ignored the urge to text Brie. And you know what that means? It means we’ve had zero contact.
