“Hey!” Mara says, and Gia gives her a Look that has her slumping sheepishly in her seat. “I guess maybe I could be more open, too.”
“Where am I taking Lizzie for spring break?” Gia asks.
My shoulders rise to my ears, both annoyed and embarrassed at the truth of it all. So I’m an introvert, what’s the big deal? We’re all entitled to our own solitude if we want it. It’s not like Gia’s any better.
“I’m not done,” Gia says. “These are all thingsyouhaven’t asked others. But it’s a two-way street. Whenever someone asks you a personal question, your instinct is to deflect at best, run away at worst.”
I want to argue, but it would be a lot easier if I hadn’t literally run away tonight.
“You don’t open up to anyone, you don’t let anyone in. We’ve all just learned to not ask questions of you. But Mara has me, she has Tucker, she has Layla,” Gia says, referring to Mara’s boyfriend and her friend-slash-boss. “And I have my own people I can rely on. People I trust who I’m open with. Can you say the same?”
This, by far, is the most interesting revelation, and I get a twinge of jealousy.Who is Gia close to?If anything, I assumed she was more of a loner than I am.
Before I can ask, Gia plods on. “This instinct to keep to yourself is a bad habit youmustbreak if you ever want a relationship. I don’t just mean with a partner, but with anyone, including Mara and me. Lizzie. Dev. Tess. Or,” she adds slowly, “anyone in the new city you move to.”
“Are you really leaving?” Mara asks.
I’ve already been offered jobs at three schools, and I have more video interviews scheduled.
“It’s the plan,” I say helplessly.
“Why?” Gia asks. “So you can keep running from the people who love you? So you can have an excuse to never open up?”
I wince.
“If it’ll make you happy, we won’t stop you,” Mara murmurs. “But we just got you back.”
“Blue Ridge isn’t my home,” I tell her. “It never really was.”
“That’s a choice, Brie,” Gia insists. “If you want to make a home here, you fucking do it. Whatever you say, I think you never really left this place. It follows you wherever you go, and you pulling away from everyone shows that.” She sighs, face softening. “A lot of people here love you. If you do go, then own it. Don’t leave because you’re running away.”
I think about all the questions I’ve skirted from Tess. About Sawyer’s confession, raw and honest, about his past that I didn’t match.
About how I considered sneaking in through the back to avoid my sisters and this exact conversation.
I’ve been running away since I got here.Since long before that.
Gia drains the last of her wine. “You belong wherever the hell you want.” Her tone is fierce, uncompromising.
The truth is, I never felt like I belong anywhere. Growing up in this town wasn’t easy. My deepest desire back then was to go unnoticed. By Sawyer, by this town. So I learned to close myself off from everyone.
Mara shifts, and I look at her. She clearsher throat, pushes her wine glass away, then pulls it toward her. Then gazes up at the ceiling.
Before I can say anything, Gia uses her Big Sister Voice. “Mara.”
She bites her lip. “Just to, uhm, add to all that . . .”
“Yeah?” I prod.
“I kind of forgot about this, it happened right around when Tucker and I got together. Actually, Tucker and I got together kind ofbecauseof it, and?—”
“What?” I interrupt, impatient.
She inhales. “I ran into Sawyer before you came back into town. Like, a week before.”
I make amove it alonggesture.
“He was in a rare mood, chatty almost. He asked about you, said he thinks about you a lot, that his therapist basically has tomes about you. And he even jokingly, but not jokingly, asked me to pass an apology to you. But then he told me not to bother you, then he asked me about helping out with the school computers.”
