I rub the back of my neck, trying to come up with some way to bring her out of whatever funk she’s in. But if it’s me that’s upsetting her, anything I do will only exacerbate things.
“Step aside, old man,” Tess jokes back. “I wouldn’t want you to pull a muscle.”
“Look at the man,” Dev says, “the only thing he’s pulling with those guns is theladies.”
Man, Dev really is that nice of a guy. But the only lady I want is Brie, who might as well not be here.
Tess walks up to the lane with her ball, hingeing at thewaist. Dev’s eyes immediately go to the ceiling, but they drop again at the sound of the ball hitting pins. A strike. Tess shimmies in celebration.
“Nice one!” he tells her with a broad smile, and I whistle cheerfully.
The hair on the back of my neck stands up. My gaze cuts to Brie. She’s already looking at me. The second I catch her, her eyes widen then dart away. My intestines are in knots now.
When I reach for my beer, I grip the plastic cup so tight it cracks, and I have to pour its contents into a fresh cup before it seeps out everywhere. Brie stands and walks to the ball return. She bowls a split. I pull my lips upward into what I hope is a casual smile as I walk toward her for my turn.
“Not bad,” I say, holding my hand up for a high-five.
She eyes it as we get closer. Her palm feathers over mine in the slightest of touches. It’s enough to almost make me wish we were back to before my confession in the cabin. At least shefeltsomething for me, even if it was sheer loathing. But this? She’s shutting down completely. Building an impenetrable wall.
Why?
All at once, my frustration at Brie overwhelms me. I pick up a ball, weighing it in my hands, wanting to hurl it across the lane just to see what it feels like. Just to see if she’ll notice.
But I force myself to take a deep breath in, then a long breath out, and I bowl a spare.
Then, as Tess takes her turn, Dev says something that nearly floors me. “How’s your job search coming along, B?”
Tess gasps, guttering her ball. “Wait, what?! What job search? Brie, you’re staying here, right?”
The knot in my gut tightens.It’s April. The feeling of an impending doom scatters through me.
No.She can’t leave yet.
How could I have been so stupid? Here I’ve been, thinking I have all the time in the world for her to open up, to grow to love me, when there’s been a ticking clock all along.
How do I show her this is where she belongs? She’s so loved here. By her students and their parents, her friends, her family. Me.
I stand and walk to where she’s sitting, two seats over. “Brie, I need to talk to you.”
“We’re bowling,” she says, looking anywhere but me.
“Brie,” I say again, more insistent this time.
She looks up, and she’s completely indifferent. That wall is firmly in place, the last brick laid. I see no way through.
And I’ve had enough.
“Why did you even invite me tonight?” I grit out.
There!A small break in her facade. Her mask slips for just a second, but it’s enough.
“Why didyoucome tonight?” I press. “You clearly don’t want to be here.”
She looks down at her hands. “I don’t know.”
Talk to me.
“If this is about a job, I told you, the district is in charge here. It’s all very small-town and informal.” I can’t stop myself from rambling. “The members on the committee rotate, there aren’t any set meeting times, it’s casual. I’m sure they just haven’t gotten around to the hiring process yet. I wasn’t named principal until a week and a half before school started.”
