“Good.”
Braden already had the car in drive and began pulling away from the house. “Yeah—she said she’d sent him a few texts that day and tried calling, but he just texted her once to saythanks.”
Eager to keep the conversation on Zack, I said, “Do you think she’s figured out he has a problem?”
“I couldn’t tell over the phone…but maybe.”
I looked out at the prairie and cultivated fields now that we were already out of Nopal, making our way down the two-lane highway toward Dalton. Everything was still yellow and brown, but I knew it wouldn’t be long before things started greening up, especially after the snow we’d gotten. Soon, there would be rows of corn, hay, and patches of hemp as far as the eye could see, interrupted by the occasional barn or house. I thought there might be a metaphor there for my heart, but I couldn’t quite grasp it.
And I needed to keep this conversation on track. “What do you think we should say?”
“I think we need to let her take the lead—and then, maybe near the end of everything, we might bring it up.”
“I think I might have an idea for a subtle way we could approach it.”
“Yeah?” Braden asked.
“Yeah. Maybe we could ask how Zack has been doing since returning from home…kind of hinting that the tour was pretty brutal and we’re concerned.”
“That might work—but if we want her to know, we might have to spell it out.”
“Yeah, I know.” Again, my eyes drifted outside the passenger window, refamiliarizing myself with what had once been sights I saw almost every day.
And my distraction offered Braden an opening. “Can we…talk about…you and me for just a minute?”
I’d known this was coming and, much as I’d tried to avoid it, I was a captive audience—and Braden deserved as much. I immediately felt ashamed at trying to dodge my friend, a man who’d been there in perhaps my moment of greatest need. “Yeah.”
“I just…” he began, his voice tortured, “wondered where we stand.”
For all the anger and frustration I’d held for Zack, I shouldn’t have been withholding this information from Braden. Yes, I was confused and so unsure…but why couldn’t I just tell him that? So I started with an apology. “I’m so sorry, Bray. I know I’ve been distant the past week.”
“I’ve tried to give you your space.”
“Oh, I know—and you have. But you deserve more from me than that.” When he glanced at me, taking his eyes off the road for just a moment, I wanted to reach out and take his hand, but it was gripping the steering wheel. “I…” But no words would come out. Not a single one.
“It’s cool if you need more time.” Although he said it and he was being as gentlemanly as possible about it, I knew every second I made him wait was breaking his heart more.
I couldn’t do that to him. So I gave him the only thing I could. “We can try dating for a while. How else are we gonna figure out if we’re compatible?”
But, oh, God…I wasn’t ready. Not by a long shot. My heart still belonged to Zack—and Braden had to know that on some level.
Didn’t he?
Immediately, though, his muscles loosened and his hand relaxed on the wheel. This time when he looked at me, his face had softened, a small smile turning up his lips ever so slightly. Still, he asked, “Are you sure? Do you need more time?”
I did—but I couldn’t keep tormenting this sweet soul. I’dfake it till I made it. I only had one request. “No. But can we keep it under wraps with Zack’s mom?” Considering I’d been spending the night at Zack’s during our break when he wasn’t staying at my house, I didn’t want our message to get lost if she began pondering why I was with Braden now.
“Um…yeah. That’s a good idea.”
It was my turn to relax, and I breathed a lot easier for the rest of the ride to Dalton.
Zack’s momwas already seated at a small table when we arrived, but she hadn’t touched the chips and salsa. Instead, she was nursing a margarita. She wasn’t wearing her uniform, so that was good, but her hair was still pulled back into a tight brown bun.
For some reason, seeing her drinking made my heart hurt for Zack.
After we’d all ordered our food, she said, “I’m so glad you guys had this idea. Zack’s been in quite a funk since getting back from the tour.”
Another stab at my heart.
