Sighing, I looked down at the base of sand stretching toward the parking lot from where I’d come, noticing how low on the horizon the sun had fallen. I imagined I still had another hour or so before sunset and I was certain it would be much cooler then.
Taking a sip from my water bottle, I fought back tears as I tried to reconcile the past with present and present with future. Something I’d known ever since Zack had made a disastrous attempt at a relationship was that we wouldn’t work. He’d tried, but he clearly didn’t love me.
Although something niggled at my brain.
Because…maybe he did.
The evidence was what he’d said last night and this morning. Last night, he’d confessed that hehadloved me. But there was more.
Although he’d rattled me out of my stupor, he’d said more than once that he didn’t want to stop the wedding. He’d said he wanted me to be happy.
He’d just wanted me to be honest with myself.
For the first goddamned time.
I’d chosen Braden because he was safe. Zack had a tight hold on my heart, but that was only because of my perception. We could forge a new friendship—that I knew—but it would be different now.
Better.
I didn’t know if Braden and I could ever be friends again, but I’d do my best to make it all up to him. I realized at that moment that I was still wearing the gorgeous engagementring he’d given to me—and I’d start there. I’d give it back along with the diamond tennis bracelet so he could do whatever he wanted with them. Twisting the band around my left ring finger, I eased it past my knuckle and straightened my legs so I could tuck it in my pocket.
My butt felt a little cold—but my body was beginning to feel warm as I continued waking the hell up.
So that was it. I had a hell of a job in front of me—I needed to repair all my friendships…with Braden and Zack and probably even Cy. I knew I also needed to sit down and talk with Braden—if he’d let me—and explain myself. I realized he might not ever want to talk to me again, and I would have to be okay with it.
And then, of course, there was the possibility that I’d be kicked out of the band. If I did, what would I do? It wasn’t that long ago that I’d threatened to leave—and, if she were still willing, I could ask Roxy to help me network with other bands who needed a drummer.
Letting out a long sigh, I nodded my head to no one in particular and smiled as I saw my footprints leading to the top of the dune in the otherwise pristine sand. Then, as I scanned the view in front of me, I looked toward the parking area, so far away that the people near the trees looked like ants—and there were fewer now than before as people were deciding to call it a day.
It wasn’t until one of those ants dressed in black got near the dune where I sat that I realized I was no longer alone.
CHAPTER 31
When I spied Zack, I waved, hoping he’d recognize me. Now that I had gotten closer to getting my head on straight, I wanted to talk it out with a friend. And maybe, just like he’d insisted earlier, I could be one-hundred percent completely honest.
I had to start somewhere.
Roxy would have also been an excellent choice. She could give me a female perspective…and I planned to talk with her later. I also knew I needed to face the music with my mother and grandparents.
But, for now, I had to come back to reality.
Even from the top of the dune, I could partly make out Zack’s expression as he nodded and began trudging up the sandy hill. A few steps up, and he peeled off his leather jacket, dropping it behind him.
Well…maybe he’d worked up a bit of a sweat getting here, but why just leave his jacket there?
Every couple of steps, though, he repeated the gesture.Next, he peeled off the short-sleeved Stone Temple Pilots t-shirt, followed by the plain black long-sleeved tee underneath.
It was too cold and breezy to go shirtless.
I noticed a red heart tattooed right between his pecs, one he hadn’t had when we’d been on tour, so it had to be new. I didn’t know the significance—especially since it wasn’t the upside-down heart that was part of our logo.
Continuing to climb slowly, he took several more steps before unlacing a boot and leaving it, walking with just one—but then he walked farther and removed the other. Two more steps and off came a sock.
What the hell was he up to? The sand was cold.
There went the other sock and then he began unbuttoning his jeans, now just a couple of yards away from me. “What are you doing?” I was beginning to think he’d completely lost his mind.
His voice was soft when he spoke as he got closer. “Something I should have done a long time ago.”
