CHAPTER 1
Back at home in Nopal, I sat in my childhood bedroom staring at the scene outside. The old chair was pulled up to the window where I looked out at the Eastern Colorado prairie covered in a white blanket of frozen precipitation. Although spring was just around the corner, Mother Nature had decided that we needed one last big, heavy snow, and I was watching the water-laden flakes drop to the ground relentlessly, as inch after inch covered everything in sight.
Somehow, it matched the weight of my heart.
As a kid, I would have loved it. School would most certainly have been canceled, giving me the opportunity to make an amazing snowman, because this type of snow made the best Frosty around. Snowballs were easier as well, because the water content made them stick together better somehow. The often drier snows that fell in late fall and early winter couldn’t compare to the snow we got in March and April for all things fun.
But thinking back was merely a distraction, because I had far weightier topics I needed to wrap my mind around.
Once Upon a Riot had returned from the third and final leg of our first tour that supported our first album—and, after everything that had happened, I wondered about our future.
Andmyfuture.
Everything seemed to hang in the balance.
And yet…it was as if my friends and I had become famous overnight. Quickly upon our return, we discovered that I was right—we’d actuallylostmoney on the first leg of the tour. But we made money on both the second and third and a good chunk of it was from merch sales. Still, the tour had done its job—it had gotten us seen and listened to by our target audience.
Zack had wanted to meet right after we got back to Nopal and Dalton, because he had lots of ideas—possibly moving back to Denver and playing shows, demanding more money; making our own merch and hiring our own people so we kept more of the profit; talking about a second album; and more.
But we all agreed that we needed a break.
So here, on day four, I sat in my old bedroom watching the snow fall and wondering what the hell mess I’d gotten myself into. Braden’s unopened text message still appeared on the screen of my phone every time I picked it up, but I’d see him soon enough. We had a Zoom meeting scheduled with the label later and Zack had invited us all to his place again.
But I planned to attend from my bedroom on the laptop…part of why I hadn’t responded to Braden.
Although he, Cy, and I had talked about confronting Zack about entering rehab, it felt like it was too soon…like maybe he needed rest too before we had that conversation. And I wanted to talk to his mom and grandpa too, because he needed to know weallcared and wanted him better—not justthe band. I didn’t want him to think we were pushing him into rehab for our own selfish reasons.
It wasn’t long before I thought I heard someone come in the front door—but my mother had gone to work, so I popped my head outside my bedroom door to see who it might be. “Hello?”
“It’s me, Dani,” my mother said, her voice filling the hallway.
“What are you doing home?” I asked, walking toward her voice. In the kitchen, she was unpacking two grocery bags she’d set on the counter.
“They wound up sending everyone home early because of the snow. It’s worse than they thought it was going to be.”
Nodding, I asked, “Want me to help?” But without waiting for her reply, I was taking cans out of one of the bags to put in the pantry.
“Yes, but leave out the tomatoes and chilies. I thought today would be a good day for my Three-Alarm Chili with cornbread.”
I grinned. “I think so.”
“I also bought some hot chocolate packets.”
As I put some of the other canned goods away, I asked, “Do you think the power’ll stay on?”
“God, I hope so.”
So did I, considering the Zoom meeting less than an hour away. Would rich executives from California understand what a late season Colorado snowstorm could do?
After folding the fabric bag and handing it to my mom, I reminded her about my meeting. She said, “Don’t worry. I won’t interrupt. I plan to veg out and watch some of my favorite rom coms.”
“Maybe I’ll join you later.”
“Dani,” she said, filling up the kettle with water. “I don’tthink I’ve told you lately how proud I am of the woman you’ve become.”
I smiled, but part of me wondered what she’d think if she knew some of the awful things I’d done on tour—the men, the lines, the booze. I’d be twenty-one later that year, but even at that age, I didn’t think I should be proud of everything I’d done. But I didn’t want to go through all that. “Thanks, mom.”
“And…there’s something I need to tell you.”
