"You're not broken," Riven said fiercely, and I startled at the intensity in his voice. He crowded close, his scarred face filling my vision, golden eyes blazing. "You're the strongest person I've ever known. You've survived things that would have destroyed anyone else. You're not broken, Lily. You're fucking magnificent."
Tears burned in my eyes. I blinked them back, but more came.
"I need time," I said, hating how weak it sounded. "I know I don't have much of it, but I need—I need to be sure. When I choose you, I want it to be because I'm ready. Not because I'm scared, not because I'm running out of options. Because I'm ready."
The silence that followed was heavy with disappointment. With fear. With desperate, aching want. Then Kaelan nodded, his expression resolute despite the pain in his eyes.
"Then we get you more time," he said, his voice rough but steady. "Double your suppressant dose. Stay in cold water when you can. And—" He paused, something flickering in his darkeyes. "We should scent you less. Give your body a chance to calm down."
The thought of them not scenting me made something in my chest ache. My omega whined at the very idea.
"I don't care." I said, lifting my chin despite the ache. "I care about being sure."
"Then that's what we'll do," he agreed, pressing a kiss to my forehead, lingering there like he was memorizing the feeling. "But Lily—you need to understand something."
"What?" I asked, searching his face.
He pulled back, his dark eyes boring into mine, deadly serious.
"When your heat finally hits—and it will hit, no matter what we do—you won't be able to make rational decisions. The hormones will take over. You'll want us so badly it will feel like dying, and you won't be able to say no," he said, his voice dropping low. "If you're still on that ship when that happens..."
He didn't need to finish. I knew what would happen. Every alpha on board would sense it. Would come for me. There would be nothing I could do to stop them.
"How long?" I asked, squaring my shoulders. "Realistically. How long can we delay it?"
"A few days at most," Vale said quietly, his silver eyes soft with worry. "Your body has already started the process. We can slow it down, but we can't stop it."
A few days. That was all I had. A few days to figure out if I could trust this. Trust them. Trust myself.
Kaelan glanced upward, toward the distant surface. "The potion is wearing off. You need to go back soon."
He was right. I could feel it—the subtle shift in my lungs, the first hint of tightness that meant my time underwater was ending. I always had to go back. Always had to leave them and return to that ship, to the pretense of being someone I wasn't.
"Okay," I said, forcing strength into my voice. "Then I have a few days to decide."
"And if you decide you want to stay?" Thane asked, his voice small, hopeful, terrified, his golden-brown eyes glistening. "What then?"
I looked at him. At his golden-brown eyes swimming with tears, at the desperate love written across his face. At all of them, these ancient, terrifying, beautiful creatures who had somehow decided I was worth centuries of devotion.
"Then I stay," I said simply, letting the truth of it settle in my chest. "Forever." The sound Thane made was almost a sob. He crashed into me, his arms wrapping around my waist, his face buried in my neck, his whole body trembling.
"Please," he whispered against my skin, the word hot and desperate. "Please choose us. Please stay. I can't—I can't lose you, Lily. Not now. Not ever."
I held him, stroking his hair, feeling the tremors that ran through his body.
"I want to," I admitted, and it felt like confessing a secret. "More than I've ever wanted anything. I just need to be brave enough to take it."
"You're already brave," Kaelan said, his hand settling on my back, warm and steady. "You've been brave your whole life. This is just one more step."
The tightness in my lungs increased. A warning.
"I have to go," I said reluctantly, pulling back from Thane's embrace. They escorted me toward the surface, swimming close on all sides, reluctant to let me go. At the place where the dark water met the moonlit shallows beneath the ship, they stopped.
"Tomorrow night," Kaelan said, catching my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes, his grip gentle but insistent. "Don't wait too long. Please."
I thought about the ship above me. About Cort, who watched me with hungry eyes. About the crew, who would tear me apart if they knew what I was. About the life waiting for me on land—running, hiding, always looking over my shoulder. Then I thought about this. About them. About the feeling of being held, being wanted, being precious instead of profitable.
"I won't," I promised, meaning it with every fiber of my being. "I won't wait too long." I surfaced alone, gasping real air into my lungs, and climbed the rope ladder back to the ship.
