ChapterOne
Kellie
“Guess who I saw in town today?” Mom asked as she unloaded armfuls of groceries onto the counter.
“Who?” I played along, thinking she’d run into an old work friend or maybe a guy she once dated.
“He’s back, Kellie.”
“Who’s back?” I asked again, already bored of this game.
Mom gave me that look—you know, the one only your mother can give you, which basically translates to pull your head out of your ass and use your brain? Yeah, that look.
“You know you can’t keep her a secret forever.”
No!
No!
It can’t be.
He can’t be back.
He was supposed to be in California.
No.
No way.
He couldn’t come back.
He said he never would.
I felt sick. Like I would vomit all over the freshly mopped linoleum floor. This couldn't be happening. I grabbed a chair and sat down before I passed out as a wave of dizziness swept me under.
“She’s my daughter,” I defended, something I’d never stop doing. Cassandra was my daughter. I’d carried her, birthed her, made sure she had clothes on her back, food in her belly, and made sure she was safe, happy, and loved. I didn’t need him coming here and fucking it all up. We were perfectly fine on our own.
“I know that, but she’s Jake’s daughter too, Kellie. And you, of all people, should know how much a girl needs her daddy.”
“Mom!”
“All I’m sayin’ is maybe Jake being back isn’t such a bad thing. You loved him.”
She wasn’t wrong. I've loved Jake Samuels since I was seven years old, and he traded me his PB&J sandwich for my baloney. We’d been best friends our whole lives then somewhere along the way, I’d stupidly let my hormones take the wheel, and I’d gone and fallen in love with the son of a bitch. I crushed on my best friend for years. I watched as he’d grown from a boy to a man and screwed his way through the varsity cheer squad.
I’ll never know why one day he just stopped fucking around and saw me as more than the girl he’d known all his life. I never asked, but I’d always be grateful he did. And more than that, he gave me the most precious gift anyone ever could. He gave me my daughter, our daughter, Cassandra.
“I think you still do love him,” Mom tossed out casually as she washed the apples before setting them in the fruit bowl in the middle of the table.
“How can I still love him?” I screeched before remembering my sleeping daughter was down the hall, and it wasn’t anywhere near time for her nap to be over. “He left me, Mom. Remember. He told me he loved me, packed his bags, and moved to California. How could I ever love someone who’d leave me like that?”
“Because, sweetheart,” Mom softened, wiping her hands on a towel before cupping my jaw. “The heart wants what the heart wants. It doesn’t listen to rhyme or reason. You loved Jake, and he loved you.”
“But he left,” I reminded her, or maybe I was reminding myself. Knowing Jake was back played with my head. I’d thought I’d put him behind me. I thought I’d moved on. Knowing he was so close made me second-guess everything. But I had to be strong. It wasn’t only my heart on the line this time, but it was our daughter’s too.
“I hear he’s home to stay. His daddy had a heart attack, so Jake’s back to run the ranch.”
Whoa! Talk about an overload of information. Glancing up at the clock, I wondered if it was too soon to start drinking.
