“Oh.”
“The truth was I never intended to do it long term anyway. It was just some way to kill time and you know, pay the bills.”
“I don’t get it.”
At least she was honest. “When I moved to Melbourne, I really had no plans. I mean, it wasn’t something I ever thought I’d do. But when everything went down last year, Zoe needed me. So I put everything on hold and brought her back. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do it again in a heartbeat, but in the last couple of weeks, the real Zoe’s starting to come back. She’s moving on with her life. Now I can too.”
“Is that what the letter in your room is?”
Fuck me! I hadn’t seen that coming. I was expecting Mia to come up with questions and objections, not to simply accept what I was telling her and keep pushing forward. I underestimated the firecracker. Again.
“You saw that?” It came out as a question. Mia looked away, embarrassed. I really didn’t care. I mean, I’d invited her into my room unsupervised. I would be a complete moron if I hadn’t expected her to snoop about a bit. That’s what women did. “Yeah. It’s something that’s been in the pipeline for a couple of months now.”
“Does Zoe know?”
Now it was my turn to be shocked. Stepping back, I braced myself against the bench. Mia’s first concern was for Zoe. Someone she barely knew. Yet she still cared.
“No.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not hiding it from her.” For some reason I felt the compulsion to explain. I didn’t want Mia thinking I was a heartless bastard. Or a coward. “I’m not, I just, I guess I needed to be sure of the decision I was making before I told her. There’s no point upsetting her or making this harder if I don’t have to.”
“Sure, I get that. I do…but, if you quit your job, I’m guessing that decisions have been made now.”
I was shit at this. I thought I’d explained myself. Obviously not. Or if I had, not well enough. This was not a conversation I wanted to have, not with that much distance between us. I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I did know I wanted Mia beside me no matter what the next step looked like. It was terrifying. I barely knew her, but her opinion mattered…perhaps more than my own. Sticking my hand out, I was relieved when she dropped her delicate hand into mine. Yanking her down off the bench, I led her towards the lounge before flopping down, pulling her into my lap, and wrapping my arms around her. I needed her close. To feel her. Her warmth. Her breath. Her steady heartbeat calming me.
“When everything went to shit last year…” I coughed. This was harder than I could have ever imagined. “I took a leave of absence. I wanted to quit. Just walk away and never look back. They talked me into taking leave instead. I didn’t really give a toss either way. I just needed to get out of there. And Zoe needed me. So I packed up and moved here. It was always there, though. An option, floating in the back of my mind. I never intended to go back…”
“Now you are.”
“I am what?”
“Thinking about it. Considering going back?”
“I can’t help it,” I admitted. “It’s home, you know? It’s what I always wanted to do. Be a cop. Raise my family in a small town. Have them grow up where they were safe and free. Let them have the sort of upbringing that we did. I had an amazing childhood, Mia. I loved it. If Spencer hadn’t…if he hadn’t, I never would have left. Now Zoe’s back on her feet, so I’m thinking that maybe, maybe it’s time for me to stop running and go home.”
