I didn’t want it.
Fuck me!
It was undeniable.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was fingering the soft leather.
Mia: You left without even a good bye???
Passive aggressive was my middle name. I’d sent the message before I had a chance to regret it. Tossing my phone on the bed, I followed it down, burying my head in the tangle of blankets. I wanted to kick and punch and throw a tantrum like a five-year-old, but when my phone chirped, I was jolted back to reality.
Taking a breath, I didn’t know if I wanted it to be Josie or Derek replying. That’s not true. I knew exactly who I wanted it to be. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.
Derek: I didn’t.
“Cryptic bastard,” I snorted while I tried to contrive a snarky reply.
Derek: I take it you didn’t find my note??
Mia: Note?
Derek: Check the nightstand.
Leaping from the bed, I started grabbing at the twisted sheets and mountain of pillows. When I couldn’t find any trace of the note Derek alluded to, I started tossing things onto the floor. I knew if Derek said he left a note, then somewhere, there was a note. It wasn’t on the nightstand and it wasn’t on the bed. Huffing from frustration and exertion, I dangled my legs on the side of the bed briefly before an idea popped into my head. Tipping myself upside down, I looked under my bed, instantly regretting it.
Hidden in the darkness were a million and one dust bunnies, a sock which appeared to have lost its friend many moons ago, a pair or panties that I couldn’t be sure if they were clean or dirty, and a pile of papers. Sticking a nervous hand in there, I swiped the floor, knocking everything out into the open. Now I knew it was there, I couldn’t ignore it, unfortunately. Focusing on the papers, I quickly tossed the old receipts, which were so old the writing had all but faded. I found a shopping list I’d written and forgotten, a phone number for someone I couldn’t remember, then there was a note with handwriting I didn’t recognize.
Mia,
You looked so peaceful sleeping I couldn’t wake you, but I had an early appointment.
I had a lot of fun with you last night and spending the night with you in my arms was one of my favourite things to do (hopefully I’ll get the chance again).
I work tonight, but if you want to drop by, I’d love to see you.
Have a great day, Tinkerbell.
Derek
“What the fuck!” I shrieked, thankful the house was empty.
I didn’t know if this guy was playing with me or he was serious. I didn’t know if I wanted him to be serious or not. Derek was the sort of guy who could break my heart. Not just a crack, either. He was the sort of guy who could shatter it into a million pieces Was I ready for that? Fuck! I needed Josie.
No longer worried about looking pathetic and desperate, I shot off another text.
Mia: I need you! STAT!
***
A handful of hours, three bags of microwave popcorn, two cherry ripe chocolate bars, and a vanilla malt milkshake later, and not only did I feel like I was about to explode, but I’d watched too much sappy, soppy TV and my emotions were stretched to breaking point. I hadn’t heard a peep from Josie and it pissed me off. Not because she hadn’t appeared, but because she hadn’t even bothered to reply. Every time she’d needed me, I dropped everything and rushed to her side. I’d pulled her out of crappy relationships, picked her drunken ass up in the middle of the night so she didn’t have to do the walk of shame, and now, when I needed her, she couldn’t even be bothered to return a simple text message.
After a long, hot bath, I pulled on my ugliest, most comfy undies, and oversized t-shirt before remaking my bed, crawling under the fresh sheets, and closing my eyes. I’d achieved nothing today. Absolutely nothing. I’d checked in at work a couple of times, but other than wallowing in my own self-inflicted misery, I’d done nothing.
My eyes drifted closed and I wished the day was over. Tomorrow would be better. Tomorrow I’d get something done. Tomorrow I’d tick some things off the mile long to do list. They’d barely been closed a moment when my phone beeped.
Derek: Guess you’re not coming down tonight?
