“I get it, Pippi. I promise I do.” I couldn’t stop myself. I kissed her hair and rubbed her back as she nestled her head in the crook of my neck.
We sat there for a long time, both consumed by our silent thoughts. Zoe was still staring at the ring nestled in the box. “And you’re sure this was for me? I mean, I turned it down once…”
“One hundred percent. He loved you, Zoe. Don’t ever doubt it. So…the question is, if he’d asked again would he have gotten the same answer? Would you turn him down again?”
“No.”
I knew she was telling the truth. She didn’t pause, she didn’t hesitate…but even if she did, it wouldn’t have mattered. All I had to do was look at her to know, that ring belonged on her finger. “So…are you going to put it on?”
Her head snapped up, collecting my jaw as she went. I felt my teeth clang together as it rattled my brain inside my skull.
“I…I don’t know. I mean I want to, but it feels wrong. Spencer never gave it to me, you know?”
“It’s your call, Princess. But it’s yours.”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime.
“Not just for today. I know I’m a mess. Fuck, a mess is an understatement. I’m a fucking disaster. But I’ll do better. I can do better. I want to. I just don’t know how.”
“You’re not a disaster. Maybe just a little lost. Can you let me help you?”
With a heavy sigh, Zoe sat down on the end of my bed, her eyes never once leaving the glistening diamond. I didn’t need her to show me to see how impressive it was. Spencer had shown me a few times. He couldn’t help himself. He’d been so excited. Part of me knew that if he hadn’t died, we’d already be planning a wedding, if not awaiting the arrival of their first child. He’d told me he’d wait for her forever. In reality, I don’t think he’d have waited another month. I don’t think he could stop himself. He loved her more than anything. The sooner Spencer staked his claim and made it known to the world that Zoe was his, the happier he’d have been. The happier they’d both be. Now it was something else that we’d just never know.
“I don’t know if you can?”
“Will you let me at least try?”
Fingering the diamond, Zoe looked up at me, then back at the box, then at me again. “Yes.”
