“From Spencer?” Her words sounded strangled.
“Yeah.”
Finding my feet, I stuffed my hands in my pockets, not trusting them anywhere else. I heard Zoe gasp and my eyes flew open. Silent tears coated her cheeks as she balanced the black velvet box in her hands.
“Spencer…”
“See, Zoe? He loved you. This was to be your engagement ring. He bought it when he came to Melbourne to see you. He came home and wouldn’t shut up about you.” I felt the smile tug at my lips and it was scary how much better it made everything feel. For weeks, we’d danced around Spencer’s memory. It was like he was a ghost haunting us. “He was going to marry you. I don’t know if it was today, tomorrow, or ten years from now. All I know is he loved you with everything he had. So don’t you dare think for even a moment that you were anything less than the love of his life. Hell, I was at your first wedding when you were four years old. No one else caught our boy’s eye the way you did. Not once. So, if you want to miss him, then miss him. If you want to cry, cry. And if you want to laugh about his god-awful singing or all the dumbass things he did, then laugh. Just make sure to invite me. But Zoe, you have to let me in. You don’t have to do this alone. Let me help you. Please.”
I sounded needy and whiny and I hated it, but I meant every word. Every fucking word.
I heard a giggle and the whole world lit up. Zoe’s giggle was infectious. The smile which had been taunting me cracked through and covered my face. “He really was a terrible singer, wasn’t he?”
“The worst.”
“How did he ever think he was good?”
“I have no fucking idea. And it was always that same god-awful song.”
We both laughed. It was a fully belly laugh that felt fucking fantastic. “American Pie!” we said in unison.
Until that moment, I didn’t realize how much I missed Kane. Missing Spencer was a given. But having someone who knew Spencer, who knew which song he sang in the shower and who knew his nasty habits but loved him anyway, having someone to grieve with was what I’d been missing the most. Maybe if Zoe could claw her way out of the darkness and find her way back to join the real world, we’d both be able to heal.
“I’ve seen this before.”
It took me a minute to realize she was talking to me. Her eyes were locked on the diamond in the box. “What’d you mean?
“He didn’t buy this ring when he was in Melbourne.”
“He said…”
“He lied.”
“He’s had this ring for years.”
“Huh?” Zoe had lost me. What the hell was she talking about? She wasn’t there the day we were sitting out the back having a beer when he announced he had something he had to show me. I had no idea what he was doing, but he jumped up, took off inside, and returned a minute later, dropping the velvet box in my lap. I’d never forget that moment. It was burned into my memory forever. While I cracked the lid, he leaned back in his chair, casually sipping his beer. There wasn’t a trace of fear or nerves on his face. That fact alone told me everything I needed to know. He was comfortable with his decision. There would be no changing his mind or talking him out of it. I’d known Spencer long enough to know that when he set his stubborn mind to something, he was following through no matter what everyone else thought. “When he came back from Melbourne, he was being a moody ass, something I suspect had everything to do with a certain stubborn brunette who was still there.” Zoe blushed, and it looked beautiful as it stained her cheeks. “He went and got it and gave me a look. Told me he brought something home with him.”
Zoe snorted, and I’d be damned if it wasn’t the cutest sound in the world. “What can I say, he was full of it.”
“When?”
“Before I left.” Now I was completely lost. Truly fucking lost. “It’s why…” Zoe’s head fell and her shoulders slumped right in the same moment a lump formed in my throat.
“Zoe…” I barely recognized my own voice. It was deep and filled with concern.
“It was two days before my eighteenth birthday. Out by the lake. In our spot. We were sitting on the grass talking about bullshit. We were laughing and teasing each other. The ass kept flicking leaves in my hair. It was a great day.” Her eyes had glazed over under the weight of the memory. I knew what was coming. I knew before she even formed the words. Suddenly everything made sense. Why Spencer had stopped wasting money on cheap beer each week. Why he insisted on painting old man Ward’s house. I knew he was squirrelling away money, I just never knew what for. Now I did. It was right there in front of me. Sparkling in Zoe’s precious hands.
“He asked you to marry him, didn’t he?” I said it so she didn’t have to.
Zoe nodded slowly, and when she managed to lift her head, I could see the fresh stream of tears streaking down her face. “He loved me. He said he wanted to spend forever with me. And I…I didn’t say yes.” Zoe hiccupped, and without a word I reached out, wrapped my arms around her, and dragged her back into my lap.
“I gotta ask, Princess, why? Why did you say no?”
“Because I was stupid. And seventeen. And I had no idea what else was out there. Who else. I never cheated on Spencer,” she added quickly. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I knew she never would. Either would he. “It was just, he-he was all I knew. I thought there was more to my life than that small town. If I married Spencer, I know I would have been happy and I would have loved him ’til the day I died, and that is still true, but that’s all I would have ever been. Spencer’s wife. I wouldn’t have known who I am without him.”
“That’s why you left?”
“Yes,” she squeaked her answer so softly I almost missed it.
