“Good work, Zoe. Keep going. You can do this. In. Out. In. Out.” There was no annoyance in his voice. No frustration. He sounded calm, concerned.
I wanted to be embarrassed, I just couldn’t summon the strength.
For minutes, or maybe it was hours, Spencer’s deep velvety voice just kept reassuring me. Kept me focused. Not for a moment did he make me feel like an idiot.
Somehow?I’ll never understand how?my out of control body calmed down and I started to feel normal again.
“You still there, Zoe?” Spencer’s voice was frazzled.
“Yeah, Spence, I’m here. I’m fine.”
“Thank fuck!”
“Gee, thanks, Spence.”
“Come on, Zoe. Give me a break here. You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do,” I conceded begrudgingly.
There was a long silence and I had a minute to get myself back under control. Lifting my head from between my knees, I glanced around the room. And I knew. I couldn’t stay here. I felt like the walls were closing in on me. The air was stifling. I needed to get out.
“Hey, Spence?”
“Yeah, Pippi?”
As my nickname echoed down the phone line, a smile settled on my face. Somehow even though he wasn’t there and he couldn’t see me, he knew what I needed in the exact moment I needed it. “Can-can I come home?”
The silence on the other end of the line almost killed me. I heard the sharp intake of breath, and I couldn’t help but hold mine. My head was spinning. Spencer was going to say no. He was going to tell me to grow up. Tell me that I needed to stand on my own two feet. That I wasn’t his problem. That he couldn’t keep saving me. That he didn’t want to.
“I’m sorry, Spence. Forget I said anything. Please, just pretend?”
“Zoe!” Spencer snapped.
“Yeah?” I replied nervously.
“Would you shut up for two seconds? And stop thinking.”
“O-okay.”
“You can come home anytime you want. You don’t ever have to ask. Just come home. Let me know when you get here and I’ll make sure I’m home to let you in.”
Relief flooded me. “Thank you, Spencer. I mean, seriously…I can’t thank you enough. For everything. If there is anything I can do to repay you?”
“Zoe! Shut up. Pack a bag. Get your cute butt in the car. It’s time for you to come home.” He chuckled and instantly I felt lighter.
“You sure?”
“See you in a couple of hours.”
“Okay.”
“Oh and Zoe. Bring a dress. You’re my date to the B&F on Saturday,” he added, almost as if it was an afterthought.
I giggled and I barely recognised the sound. It sounded good. “That explains the invite then.”
“What’s that?”
“You’re desperate and I’m easy.”
That earned me a deep, hearty chuckle. “Pippi, the last word I’d ever use to describe you is easy. Now stop stalling. Get your shit together and get on the road. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”
“Thanks, Spence.”
“Anytime, Pippi. Drive carefully.”
Spencer ended the call and I flopped back against the cushions feeling overwhelmed with gratitude and comfort. In a few minutes, with only a conversation, somehow Spencer had managed to put my out of control life back on the rails and back in focus. Yet another thing I’d never be able to thank him enough for. After a few deep breaths and a heavy sigh, I did exactly what he’d told me to. I shuffled into my bedroom and stuffed my bag. Twenty minutes later I was draping my dress across the back seat of my car and heading to Spencer’s. Heading home. The word made my world spin. It just felt so damn right I couldn’t ignore it.
