Chapter 31
ZOE
My heart hurt. Fuck, did it ever.
And my head. Everything fucking hurt.
When I saw how defeated Spencer looked I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt like shit. Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I was embarrassed to feel the dry, crusty sleep caught in my eyes and my runny nose. It took all my strength to pull the door open wide enough for him to fit through.
As he passed by me, I felt my whole body stiffen at the same time disgust crossed my mind. I hated that I was afraid of Spencer. I shouldn’t be. Not now. Not ever. Once we were standing in the room face to face, I blurted out, “Sorry.” The moment I did, he did exactly the same.
It was perfect. It broke the silence and we both fell apart laughing. I only laughed as long as it took for me to realise how damn painful my ribs were. As soon as the painful reminder settled, all the fun fell away and reality came flooding back. It must have shown on my face, because without a word or warning, Spencer yanked me into his arms and crushed me against him.
He stank. A combination of boy and sweat. It wasn’t pleasant. Being in Spencer’s arms was, so I bit my tongue.
“Pippi, I shouldn’t have said those things,” he began, heartfelt honesty in his voice.
“Don’t, Spence. Just don’t. Please. I’ve known you too well for too long for you to start bullshitting me now. What you said?yeah, it fucking hurt, but it needed to be said. I needed to hear it. So don’t pretend. Not with me.” I was surprised with what I’d said. As soon as I’d said it, I was shocked I’d had the balls to do so.
“Pippi?”
“Spencer Robert. No more. No more apologies. No more feeling sorry for me. You didn’t do this. This is not your fault. You don’t have to fix me,” I declared adamantly.
“Anything else?” he asked, the hint of a smile playing on the corner of his lips.
Stepping out of his embrace was harder than I’d imagined. Somehow I did it. I managed to step away. I took two steps back, folded my arms across my chest, and looked up into his intense eyes. I shouldn’t have. As soon as I did it regret consumed me. I was caught in his trap. Forcing the thought from my mind, I said, “Actually there is.”
“And what would that be?”
“You. Stink. Shower. Now.”
“What’s in it for me?” he asked in a breathy rush as he leaned in towards me.
His mouth was barely an inch from mine. I knew if I dropped my head forward, even a little, we’d kiss. It would not be a protective, brother-sister peck, either. The heat between us was climbing.
I was getting all hot and flustered. Something I didn’t want to be, but couldn’t help. Maybe I was the one who needed the shower. “You shower, then I’ll take you to lunch,” I offered meekly. It was all I could think of. I had to get him away from me.
With a wicked gleam in his eye, Spencer stepped back, his gaze never once wavering from me. “Better be somewhere good,” he added with a wink before heading towards the bathroom, tugging his shirt over his head as he went.
I almost fainted at the sight of his tanned, muscular back retreating through my apartment. Forcing myself to blink a few times to force the image from my mind, I stumbled through my lusty haze into the kitchen and grabbed a tall glass of water. I needed to cool down. My pulse was racing and my palms were sweaty. Only Spencer could turn me inside out like this. I both loved and hated him for it. Even though I didn’t want to have all these feelings right now, the upside was at least I knew I still could. The monster hadn’t stolen that from me. The only scary downside was, why did it have to be Spencer who evoked them?
I heard the shower start, then the terrible singing kicked in. I think it was some deranged rendition of “American Pie,” but I couldn’t be sure. Someone was definitely rolling over in their grave somewhere and cats were covering their ears. Knowing that Spencer was distracted, I ducked into the bedroom and changed. After pulling on jeans, boots, and a shirt, I grabbed my brush and tried to tame my mane. Fuck, my hair was annoying when it wanted to be. Trying to pull it into a bundle and secure it with the clip was proving damn impossible. There was just too much. I gave up. I couldn’t be bothered. I didn’t have the energy. Instead I brushed it a few times and left it out, hanging over my shoulders. After adding some mascara and a swipe of lip gloss, I chanced another look. It wasn’t wonderful. Hell, it wasn’t even good. But it was an improvement.
“Looking good, Pippi!” Spencer’s voice came from behind me, causing me to jump with fright.
“Fuck me, Spencer. You scared the shit out of me!” I roused, my hand over my heart as if trying to keep the racing organ inside me.
The smarmy shit just chuckled. I wanted to throw something at him, but as soon as I actually managed to focus I realised he was standing before me in nothing but a towel and a panty-melting grin. The bastard was trying to kill me. My eyes roamed unashamedly over his body and I felt my cheeks burn.
“Get dressed,” I instructed as I ducked under his arm and left the bedroom. I couldn’t look at him a moment longer.
I needed some space and a minute to get my head together. Stepping out onto my pathetic excuse for a balcony, I sucked in a deep breath of the salty air. I loved living this close to the water. Even though I couldn’t see it, I could still hear the crashing of the waves against the pier only a block over. I didn’t care that I’d had to sacrifice a bigger living room to be this close to the water. In my opinion, that was more important. It took a moment, as soon as I regained control of my erratic and confusing heartbeat, I felt better. Letting my eyes drift shut, I lifted my face and turned towards the sun, letting its warmth sooth me.
I don’t know how long I stood there or how dumb I looked, but when Spencer stepped out beside me, there wasn’t enough room.
“You ready, pretty girl?” he asked smoothly.
Opening my eyes, I saw my boy. His hair was still damp and his face still had a smattering of stubble that made my fingertips itch. It should have made him look unkempt and dirty, but somehow it made him look more masculine and edible, if that was even possible. I swallowed the lump that had mysteriously formed in my throat. “Yep.” I grinned at him stupidly.
