Chapter 18
SPENCER
I shouldn’t have kissed her. I knew it the moment I did it and maybe even before then, but that didn’t stop me. I did it anyway. I wanted to regret it. I really did. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to regret it any more than I could have stopped myself.
I had to move away before I did something stupid. Something even more stupid. Grabbing my plate, I shuffled into the kitchen and started washing up. I needed a moment to get my head on straight and my traitorous libido under control. I scrubbed the pan hard…too hard…but it felt good. It was the perfect distraction.
“Want a hand?” Zoe asked, sidling up beside me.
I sucked in a long deep breath. Even with the bruises and the scratches and the scrapes and the hangover she was still beautiful. “I’m g-good,” I stuttered, barely able to spit the words out.
Zoe dropped her plate in the sink, grabbed a tea towel, and began drying. We moved side by side silently. I finished up as quickly as I could. “I’m going to duck in for a shower. Ring and cancel the hotel.”
“Okay.”
“Won’t be long,” I promised as I shuffled towards the bathroom.
Pushing the door closed behind me, I leant on it heavily, grateful for its strength. It was the only thing holding me up. The only thing keeping me upright. I’m not sure how long I stood there, it felt like a lifetime. Or maybe it was barely a breath. It didn’t matter. I just needed some space.
Half an hour passed before I emerged from an icy shower, dressed, with my head screwed on tight enough to know better. Walking back into the lounge room, I saw Zoe curled in a ball in the recliner. My heart squeezed. She was a sight to behold. My girl, wearing my clothes, sitting in my chair. It looked natural. Normal. Perfect. Shaking off the thought, I strode back into the room.
“Hey.” Zoe smiled, looking up at me, her phone in her hand.
“Hi.” I grinned back at her. I knew I looked like a fool, I just didn’t care.
“Anything exciting happening?”
“Nah, not really. Monique’s invited us to a barbecue this afternoon.” She shrugged. She showed absolutely no signs of enthusiasm or desire to go.
“Wanna go?”
“Not really.”
“Movie day?” I suggested, secretly hoping she’d say yes. I had no wish to go anywhere, let alone socialise.
“Sounds perfect.”
I couldn’t hide the sigh of relief, or the wide, relieved smile that covered my face. Jumping from the lounge, I squatted down in front of the TV and started shuffling through the cabinets. “What are you in the mood for?”
“What you got?”
“Action. Adventure. Sci-Fi. Comedy. Crime. Horror. Thriller.”
“No chick flicks?”
I didn’t know if she was kidding or not. Shrugging, I answered her, “No. Sorry. Not much use for them.”
“How ’bout a romantic comedy?” Zoe’s voice shook.
“Nah.”
“Comedy then?” Zoe’s voice shook slightly. If I didn’t know her so well, even I would have missed it.
The look in her eyes broke my heart. There was something there I couldn’t put my finger on. Something I didn’t understand. When she chewed on her fingernail I found myself pulling my phone from my pocket and tapping out a quick text. I mightn’t be able to take away her pain. I mightn’t be able to erase what happened. I could do something to distract her. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long.
Grabbing the first DVD I could that fit her request, I put it in and flopped into the couch, remote in hand. The movie started and I stole a glance at Zoe. The tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Even the stupid antics of Adam Sandler failed to bring a smile to Zoe’s sad face. I wanted to grab her and pull her into my lap and hold on. Hold on for dear life and never let go. The only thing stopping me right now was the fact I wasn’t quite sure how she’d react if I went all caveman on her.
It took barely forty-five minutes before the knock at the door I’d been expecting startled me. Zoe’s tears had stopped, but she looked tired. It was more than just tired. It was this all-consuming exhaustion. Scrambling to my feet, Zoe’s eyes tracked my every move. I stayed silent but offered her a sly wink. She had no idea what I was up to but the sadistic part of me liked keeping her off balance.
