I couldn’t stop my smile from widening. There were so many things I could say, so many words that would likely make that blush appear redder, and possibly never disappear. But I refrained from saying anything.
A few minutes later, Oakley shifted, his eyes bouncing from my almost empty plate to where I had sat the bunny.
Would he ask? Or even get up and get it himself?
Quickly finishing my meal, I waited him out. It wasn’t often Oakley gave any sign of something he wanted. I’d give him whatever he wanted, which was a good thing that he didn’t know that just yet.
When I stood, Oakley’s eyes went straight to the stuffed animal. I could hear his heart beating in his chest as I took both of our plates to the sink.
He didn’t move. He didn’t do anything other than blink at the toy.
Was he willing to come to him by force alone?
Leaving the dishes in the sink, I grabbed the bunny before going back towards Oakley. Kneeling before him, I could see the tears clogging his vision.
What the heck happened today?
“Let me see your hands, little one,” I whispered. He quickly put them out. “Good. Clean hands are important after meals.”
He gave the tiniest nod like he knew that.
Setting the bunny on top of his hands, his eyes widened as the softness touched the palms.
“Good boy.”
Oakley pulled the stuffed animal to his chest, a single tear falling down his cheek.
“I always follow through with promises.” I’d try to show him just that every day. I never backed out on my word.
Chapter 27
Oakley
I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me. One minute, I had been gazing at the stuffed animal, wondering if it was as soft as it looked, to the next wanting so many things that I knew I couldn’t ever have.
I wanted to touch the bunny. I wanted to hold on to it like it could hold all of my pent-up emotions for me. I wanted Sabastian to come home, hold me, and tell me that everything was fine. I wanted a nap and food, and to be left alone.
My emotions were all over the place, and I couldn’t pinpoint what one to land on. Or even just a mix of a few.
I wanted to find a corner and cry myself to sleep.
I wanted to crawl into Sabastian’s lap where he’d never let me go.
I wanted to read more of the book.
I just freakingwanted.
Maybe the book was making me think. I hadn’t felt like this ever before, so emotional and needy in a way that wasn’t explainable.
Sure, I’d felt small and nonexistent many times with Sir. It was expected, to always be tossed about like I was nothing. Iamnothing. But none of that made me feel what I was feeling right then.
Normally, when I felt sad, scared, or hurt, my thumb was enough to comfort me. Not this time. Iwasn’t sure if there was anything to stop the tornado of feelings. They swirled inside me, one fighting for more power.
I wasn’t sure what one was going to win. Hopefully, one that didn’t crash me to the bottom of hell.
Sniffing, I rubbed the back side of my hand under my nose.
Food had helped a bit, as did the stuffed animal that was now tightly in my grasp. I wasn’t letting go of it willingly any time soon. It was hard enough to let Sabastian take it at dinner. I had almost started sobbing. Over a stupid toy.
