A single tear leaked out before I could swipe it away.
“Come on, up you get. Sabastian has dinner ready for you.”
With a drawn-out sigh, wanting to do just about anything but leave the safety of the bed, I pushed myself up.
Wearing only the shirt, I followed Collin from the room. My steps were slow. Hell, everything was moving too slowly around me.
Maybe I didn’t sleep enough after that super short nap.
“He won’t care about your…thumb. Not like Donny,” Collin said quietly as we started the descent on the stairs.
I had long since given up trying not to act like a baby at certain times. Because fighting it when Sir wanted me to do just that in some form of twisted game hadn’t helped.
“He’s in the kitchen that way,” Collin pointed me in the direction. “Go on. Be a good boy.”
My heart sank. I wasn’t good.
My feet shuffled towards the kitchen, and the smell of whatever was cooking. Collin waited until I was out of sight before the soft click of the front door registered in my mind. Instantly, I froze in place, head down, heart heavy in my chest as I realized I was once again, left alone with a man. One that could, and would, hurt me worse than what I’ve already been through.
“Have a seat,” Sabastian said over his shoulder.
Where? On the floor, where I stood? At the counter, where two stools sat? Or at the table? Or….
I hated open-ended games. Whatever option I picked was going to be wrong.
I could feel his eyes watching me as my gaze went from the three options, back and forth. Panic, although not nearly as bad as it had been earlier, started to set in. I could feel my lungs trying to close up and my chest cave in.
What would Sir want me to do? What place would he pick once I picked the wrong one?
It wasn’t often I ate anywhere but in my room, as it was. The times that Sir had been at the table, was when he tormented me with food. He’d have me kneel at its side, telling me to open my mouth to hand feed me, to give me dog food instead of whatever he’d make. I’d end up choking in shock, and sometimes even gagging when it was wet pet food.
But I deserved it. I was apet. A plaything. I wasn’t human, and my needs were only an embarrassment to any man.
Sabastian didn’t bother to repeat himself, leaving me standing there, hands gripped tightly at my sides in fists. I was already failing.
I gave up, dipping my chin to my chest. I just stood there, waiting for either clearer orders or a slap to the head.
Sabastian moved around the kitchen, taking a couple of things to the table before sitting down. When I still didn’t move, he called my name.
Taking that as a hint, I moved quickly to his side before falling to my knees by his chair. Keeping my back straight, thighs mostly holding my weight instead of my knees, I kept my butt off my feet just enough to not touch the heated skin.
He huffed but otherwise didn’t comment.
Keeping my gaze trained on the floor, hair hiding my face from his view, I shifted just a tiny bit, my back already aching.
I was sore, my body desperately wanted rest. But the rest wasn’t for things like me. I was to be used.
So lost in thought, or maybe it was more like lost in keeping the thoughts at bay and kneeling perfectly, I jerked when a hand brushed some of my hair behind my ear. Not that it stayed there.
“Although I like the idea of you kneeling next to me,” he mumbled, “sit in a chair, Oakley.”
Scrambling, I did just that. I tripped over my feet before falling a bit ungracefully into a chair. The seat was soft, but it still caused a spike of pain to radiate through me.
“It should be cooled off now. Eat. Slowly.” He pushed a bowl of soup towards me, the spoon sticking out of it.
I glanced at him before slowly pulling it closer to me, afraid he’d change his mind and take it back. All he did was give me a small smile.
I didn’t eat it slow. Once I started, so used to having very little time to eat anything before it was taken away, I ate quickly. It was more than I was used to having, leaving my stomach protesting.
