Chapter 4
Throughout the day, I dozed off and on. The nurse, Anna, and a doctor that I didn’t catch the name of, came in a number of times. They would bring me more pudding and crackers, and some other easy on the stomach type of foods. Nothing had made another reappearance, so that was the only good thing.
The pain meds were lessened, also. Little did they know, I didn’t need them. I had survived this long without the assistance of meds.
The people so far have been nice enough. They were careful to warn me if they were planning to touch me. I hated to admit it, it did help my anxiety to not overtake me, thankfully.
Sarah had come by, bringing me a couple sets of clothes, shoes and some paper to write on. It wasn’t much, but it was more than I ever remembered having before. Last time, she said she was still working on finding me a place to stay.
It’d still be so easy to walk out the door and not look back. All I’d have to do was put one foot in front of the other and no one would look twice at me on the way.
I wasn’t sure what was stopping me from doing just that. Other than Sarah asking me tostay. Maybe it was the knowledge that she was most likely right. I’d end up back in the hands of the monsters that had held me for so long already. I knew I’d end up there again, though.
That was my life.
To be used and demanded on.
A yawn tore through my body, forcing me to fight back tears as my jaw popped. I wasn’t sure how I could still be so freaking tired. Three days of just doing nothing.
A knock on the door was the only warning before it was pushed open. I looked that way, waiting.
I did a lot of that the past few days. Waiting for death. Waiting for hope to crash into me. Just…waiting.
“Good morning, Koda.” Sarah greeted, coming into the room with a bag clutched in her hand. “Brought you some breakfast.”
I don’t know what she saw on my face, since I was trying to find a neutral expression to keep in place at all times. It was a lot harder to do than I expected. But whatever she saw, her smile faltered for a second.
“Your doctor okayed it for you to have a donut. Simple sugar one.”
My mouth watered at the thought of such a thing. It had been so long since I had any sugar.
“I had a feeling that’d cheer you up.” Sarah walked closer, setting the bag near mylap where I had my legs crossed. “How are you feeling?”
Ignoring her question, I opened the bag and found the sugar covered goodness. Tearing it in half, I pulled out part of it and slowly munched on it. The flavor exploded in my mouth, and I almost wanted to shove it all in one bite.
But to answer her question in my head, I was still here. Alive when I didn’t want to be. My pain was there, like it always was. But other than the IV being taken out just this morning, there hadn’t been any pain forced upon my already bruised and broken body.
“I may have found a relative.” That got my attention, if at least briefly. “She’s a few towns over, but there’s an Aunt Dawn who was happy to hear that you are alive.”
Another long pause.
“She’s going to come visit tomorrow. A social worker will also be by later, since you are a minor and all that.”
Yeah, the doctor had said that too. I felt unsettled at the thought. My past run-ins with a social worker led to more pain in some form. A knot of fear started to brew in my chest, but I was trying to ignore it.
I eyed the bag once more, wondering if I’d end up paying the price if I ate both parts of the donut. After a second of thinking, I knew I would, so I moved it to sit on the rolling tablebefore fiddling with a loose string on the blanket.
“Your aunt seems very nice over the phone. I’ll be here when she comes by. Just to make sure it all goes well.”
That helped soothe any rising panic, so I nodded, hoping that was enough to let Sarah know I was okay with that plan at least.
“Is there anything you need from me right now?”
I shook my head. I highly doubted me asking a police officer to kill me would go over well.
Being stuck in a room wasn’t anything new to me, but the unknown was. I’d rather know when the hits and demands were going to come rather than just sitting here, waiting.
I didn’t trust a single person and that wasn’t going to change any time soon.
