“Sorry,” Jasper mumbled, but didn’t remove his hand as he fought to put a piece of hair behind my ear. “Didn’t want you eating yourself.”
I glanced at him, forcing one last bite into my mouth before setting the spoon down on the table.
How had I not noticed him move closer? And why did I crave being in his hold so strongly?
Nothing made sense, but at least my emotions were a tiny bit more under control.
“Sorry,” he repeated, slowly taking his hand away. It took everything in me to stay right where I was and not follow the warmth of his palm.
I shook my head at myself. I was being an idiot.
Someone like me shouldn’t ever want a man to ever touch me again in any form.
“All finished?” Dawn asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I blinked with a slow nod, more than ready to take another nap. But the trek up the stairs felt like way too much work.
Dawn reached around me, with another pass of her hand along my back, and took my nearly empty bowl. I had eaten more than I thought I would.
“Do you want to go back to bed, or hang out in the living room?”
I held up two fingers. Or I’d happily just lay on the kitchen floor. But Dawn wouldn’t let me do that option, even if the floor was clean.
“I’ll help him there,” Jasper offered.
“Thanks. I’ll go grab his phone and tablet from his room.”
Why was Jasper offering to help so much? I didn’t need it, but I also didn’t want to say no for once.
Jasper stood, holding out his hand for me to take. His palm facing up, waiting. Not wanting to overthink it, my mind sluggish and body aching, I slowly reached out and placed my own hand against his much warmer one.
Why is it so cold now? He felt like a furnace compared to my own skin.
A deep part of me was torn. Half wanting to sneak up closer to Jasper’s body heat, andhalf wanting to pull away and tuck every piece of limb I had under the blanket.
He gave me an encouraging smile when I dared to meet his gaze before leading the way towards the living room. At that moment, I’d probably follow him to the pits of hell with how I was.
I was so far lost in my mind, slightly feverish and sick. My mind didn’t want to be an adult, and it was easy to just let someone else take the role of telling me exactly what to do. Then, I wouldn’t have to think.
Jasper led me to the couch, where I kind of just stood there clinging to his hand for a before I finally let go. With my back against the arm, I huddled into the soft cushions, eyes wide and watery as Jasper tucked the blanket around my shoulders better.
“Is there anything you need?” His voice was calm, just like always.
I shook my head, somehow able to just barely hold back another round of tears.
“I need to go check on my grandma, but I’ll be back later. And Dawn will be here for the rest of the day.”
I nodded, even though my mind repeated the wordsI’m fineover and over.
Maybe if I said it enough, it’d be true. Ihadto be fine. I wasn’t a baby. I was almost an adult. One that had been through more than anyone ever should in my life.
If I lived through hell once, I should be able to live past a stupid crappy cold.
“It’s sweet you care,” Dawn said, appearing around the corner. Thankfully, I didn’t jump, forgetting she was here for a short time. “But you don’t have to stay longer, Jasper.”
“I think someone needs more people who care,” Jasper muttered before kneeling so he was eye level. I blinked slowly, feeling like whatever he was about to say was something I should remember. “That’s what friends are for, right?”
I simply breathed. I never had a friend.
