The cold bottle of water was pressed into one of my hands. But my hands shook too much, I wasn’t even going to try to do anything but stay right where my arms were.
“Drink, Koda.”
At the order, I got my arm to lift the bottle to my lips. I managed to take a couple of sips before giving up. The bottle almost fell from my grasp, but the man was there, quickly taking it away.
He said something again, then was gone. And with him, the rest of my energy that I was hanging onto.
I thought I had given up before. Many times. But this time, I really was.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t live through pain and torture or mind games ever again.
Three, almost four years of freedom had now been washed down the drain. I’d never get to taste the sweet taste of life again. I wouldn’t get to see the sun rise or set in an array of colors.
I knew that death wouldn’t be peaceful for me. And I wasn’t going to die today, but I would soon. If another man used me the way I’ve been handled before, I didn’t want to live anymore.
Somehow, I found enough energy to lay down, head propped up on the pillows and a blanket tucked up to my chin. My eyes wouldn’t stay open, and shivers wracked my body every few seconds.
I debated on sending a text to Dawn, just to ask her to come home. Maybe if she were here, then no man, no monster could touch me.But at the same time, I couldn’t be more of a bother to her. She’d already done so much for me.
I wasn’t a baby. But I felt like today was the last time I’d ever get to see her. Whatever the male in the house wanted from me, would be the end of me trying to keep living on like I currently was.
I jerked, eyes flashing open when a cold washcloth was laid across my forehead.
“Sorry. Thought you heard me come back in.”
All I could do was lay there, staring at the gray covered torso that stood right by the bed.
“Koda?” The man moved, maybe kneeling or something, to where his face was in better view. He was still blurry, but I knew those eyes, kinda. They were soft, open and worried. “Hi there.”
Was this the time he’d break me apart?
“I’m not sure if your fever is high because you’re sick, or because you were having an attack.”
An attack?
He spoke slowly enough I could kind of follow along.
“I called Dawn. She can’t get home just yet, but if it’s okay, I’ll hang out here for a bit until she does?”
All I could do was blink.
“She wants you to take one of the anti-anxiety meds. Can you do that?”
Well, at least that’d help my brain get through whatever he was going to do to me.
I nodded once.
“Good. And a couple more pain relievers. Can you do that for me?”
One more small nod.
“I found a straw, so you don’t have to sit up,” he went on, pulling out the two meds from a small cup I hadn’t noticed.
I didn’t fight him against the three pills, but my throat flamed to life as I swallowed them without enough water. Once more, my eyes began to water.
“I know, you feel awful, don’t you?”At that, tears trickled out of the corner of my eyes. “I’m really sorry for scaring you earlier. That hadn’t been my intention. But you were thrashing around and I didn’t think about how you’d react if I touched you.”
I closed my eyes, hoping the meds would kick in quicker if I willed them to.
